IELTS General Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Some people prefer to raise children in the cities while others believe that children should be raised in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4200528
TOPIC: Some people prefer to raise children in the cities while others believe that children should be raised in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Answer 1
When it comes to children, everyone has their version as to where the kids should be raised: in the city or countryside. I believe that kids should grow up on the outskirts of the town.
Children growing up in a village are physically and mentally more robust as compared to their city counterparts. Overcoming petty ...
By priya, 2020-06-04  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 307
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 3.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Good essay. But there are small logic defects. "outskirts of the town" isn't the countryside, you shouldn't change the concept. And by your conclusion, you should discuss countryside latter.
Answer 2
There are conflicting ideas as to where children should be raised. While some people prefer to raise children in the city, others believe the countryside is a better place. This essay will discuss the two sides and will support the notion that it is better to allow children to grow up in the countryside rather than the ...
By Teju, 2020-06-08  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 337
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has CHILDREN(12) CITY(8) COUNTRYSIDE(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Conclusion seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 6.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Your response structure is good, but the reasoning isn't very strong. Besides, the original version has some grammar defeats.
Answer 3
People have different views about where their kids should be raised in cities or rural areas. In my opinion, both places have their benefits to live.
Some people believe that metropolis is the best option to grow their children. Firstly the schools in urban areas tend to have a better quality of education and offer ...
By mamta sandhu, 2020-07-18  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 262
AI Comment:
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Conclusion seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-The main ideas are extended and supported; the response is ok.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-There is a clear overall progression in the response, but somewhat mechanically, with occasional errors.
Lexical Resources:
-The essay didn't use less common vocabulary with accuracy.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammatical errors are frequent, such as nouns (singular, plural).
- Help Link1, Help Link2