TOPIC: Many people think that important things in life can't be bought. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Numerous peoples believe money can't buy crucial moments in life. While I agree that having financial stability and standard of living directly links to mental satisfaction, it goes without saying that intangible things can't be owned.
It is irrefutable to say that everything can be bought. The bond between two ...
Total words: 257
- The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
- High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
- Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
- Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
- Obvious Grammar Errors: 1>.
You change the question to discuss "money important or not," the response isn't very well. Besides, the essay has too many passive voice sentences.