IELTS General Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Many people think that important things in life can't be bought. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4200601
Question:
Many people think that important things in life can't be bought. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Answer 1
In the twenty-first century, most individuals ponder that crucial commodities in life cannot be purchased with money. They believe that wealth is an essential thing in individual life, which helps buy anything. Yes, I agree with this situation; numerous things in life cannot be bought with money. This essay will ...
By jarry, 2020-09-29  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 375
Band: 5.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-The main ideas are extended and supported; the response is ok.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident and cohesive devices are used, though rather mechanically.
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Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is limited, but just about adequate for the task, try to enhance IELTS vocabulary.
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Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammatical errors are frequent, such as predicate verb.
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Answer 2
Numerous peoples believe money can't buy crucial moments in life. While I agree that having financial stability and standard of living directly links to mental satisfaction, it goes without saying that intangible things can't be owned.
It is irrefutable to say that everything can be bought. The bond between two ...
By Atif, 2020-07-11  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 257
Band: 5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
You change the question to discuss "money important or not," the response isn't very well. Besides, the essay has too many passive voice sentences.