IELTS General Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: In many countries, traditions and customs are disappearing. What are the reasons? What should schools and parents do to keeping our traditions alive?

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4200613
TOPIC: In many countries, traditions and customs are disappearing. What are the reasons? What should schools and parents do to keeping our traditions alive?
Answer 1
I have heard my grandmother saying, "Back in our days, we used to have a grand fair in September every year. All the villagers would go together as a group. We used to eat different sweets, enjoy swings, watch the circus and the Magic show. It was the time of the year we used to look forward to." Hearing her stories ...
By Gursharn, 2020-06-23  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 372
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • You had better rewrite the essay to 4 or 5 paragraphs.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(15) TRADITIONS(9) ARE(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 4 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Conclusion seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 8.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
The response is ok, but the "solution" part is relatively weak. Grammar and vocabulary have room to improve.
Answer 2
During successive waves of globalization, traditions and customs are slowly disappearing in so many countries, and it has ignited public attention from time to time. Therefore, the potential problems of this issue will be discussed, and some solutions will be offered in this essay.
The primary cause of reducing the ...
By Ivy Chaw, 2020-06-23  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 331
AI Comment:
  • You had better rewrite the essay to 4 or 5 paragraphs.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(15) CUSTOMS(6) TRADITIONS(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 2.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
The response is good, but the " reason" paragraph shouldn't include solutions. Besides, you need stronger vocabulary skills to get a higher score.
Answer 3
It is undoubtedly true that today we do not belong to impregnable boundaries. The whole world has shrunk into a small global village due to the advancement in technology as well as it helps in the deprivation of cultures and traditions. I will throw light on the reasons and how parents and schools can help to save our ...
By Harpreet singh, 2020-06-25  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 298
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Conclusion seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6.5
Excellent essay; if removing some tiny syntax defects, you may get a higher score.
Answer 4
Traditions and customs are a crucial part of a country. In today's world, the disappearance of these two can be seen, and the causes of this are not really obvious, but we can surely describe them one by one. Let us dredge deeper and discuss the matter in detail.
There is no smoke without fire. Modernization can be ...
By Mannat , 2020-06-19  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 255
AI Comment:
  • Paragraph 2 is relatively short, enrich it.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has THEIR(12) CAN(11) AND(10); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 3.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
The response is ok, covers the question in a short essay.
Answer 5
Culture and traditions are the roots of every country. Day by day, technology advancement is growing, now some people forget their tradition, and they think conventional things are useless things for the future; it cannot help throughout life. Traditions and customs are the irrefutable part of life and should be ...
By Ravdeep Kaur, 2020-06-28  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 276
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(23) TRADITIONS(10) ARE(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 7.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
The response is good in logic and structure, but your grammar and vocabulary skills need to enhance if you want to get a higher score.
Answer 6
Traditions and customs are considered to be a cultural heritage. Unfortunately, we are not able to preserve them properly from generation to generation because of modern trends. Yet, it is feasible to solve this issue by taking certain measures.
There are two possible reasons which lead to the eradication of ...
By Jay, 2020-07-21  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 290
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6.5
Task Response:
-Ideas are usually expressed fully, but solutions need more support.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-There is a clear overall progression in the response, but don't use referencing clearly or appropriately in a few cases.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, they rarely reduce communication.
Answer 7
Traditions and customs have been passed down for centuries. The importance given to such beliefs in different countries is becoming lesser and lesser. This essay will discuss why such traditions that have lived on for so long are disappearing and put forward several solutions parents and schools can carry out to keep ...
By vatoseg, 2020-07-27  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 369
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(17) TRADITIONS(8) THEIR(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 2 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Paragraph 2 seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 5.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a clear position is presented throughout the response.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The response is organized into paragraphs, but the focus of each is not always clear, the secod paragraph shouldn't talk about solutions.
Lexical Resources:
-The essay didn't use less common vocabulary with accuracy.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammatical errors are frequent, such as nouns (singular, plural).
- Help Link1, Help Link2
Answer 8
Traditions and customs are the golden symbols of cultural wealth and proudness of any country. Unfortunately, nowadays, most of the countries' precious symbols, are vanishing drastically, due to change in human lifestyle, and rapid technological advances. To save these valuable signs, parents and schools must ...
By Daoud Heraoui, 2020-06-18  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 347
AI Comment:
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(22) TRADITIONS(11) THEIR(10); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 2 as start point.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 9.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5
The response isn't good, doesn't present clear descriptions of either reason or solution.
Answer 9
Traditions and customs in many countries are starting to be forgotten. The main reason for this is globalization. Therefore, to address these problems, schools and parents should begin building a good foundation in teaching and practicing it.
Traditions are beliefs and customs that have been passed to generation to ...
By bda, 2020-07-02  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 313
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(10) WILL(6) THESE(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 6.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
The response is ok in logic, but your grammar needs to be improved.