IELTS General Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: The age at which people have children has risen. Some people believe that because of this, families and countries will suffer some problems. What is your opinion?

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4200628
TOPIC: The age at which people have children has risen. Some people believe that because of this, families and countries will suffer some problems. What is your opinion?
Answer 1
As compared to the past, we see that the marriage age of the new generation has reached 30 and 40. The majority of people believe that it has become a significant problem not only in our family but also in our society and nation. This essay will discuss the reason behind this lifestyle and the impact of such decisions ...
By jarry, 2020-09-20  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 408
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(22) THAT(13) LIFE(8); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Paragraph 1 seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 3.
Tutor Comment:
Band 7
Task Response:
-Ideas relating to each sector mentioned in the prompt are presented, and the essay has a good development for them.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident; however, some sentences are wordy, and cohesion within sentences is sometimes faulty.
- Help Link
Lexical Resources:
-There is a wide range of vocabulary, used appropriately and naturally.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-A variety of complex structures is used with some flexibility and accuracy.
Answer 2
There is no doubt that these days most people prefer to have children at a later age. Some individuals consider that due to this trend, families and nations will have to face specific problems. This essay disagrees with the given statement because there are various advantages associated with this phenomenon, which will ...
By Simmi, 2020-07-13  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 280
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 1.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
The response is excellent in both logic and structure, your language skills are good too. Pay attention to tiny syntax defects.
Answer 3
Nowadays, people prefer to have children later then it was several decades before. In my view, while I believe that this tendency is beneficial for families and the government, I agree that it can have a detrimental effect on them due to some circumstances.
One obvious benefit of becoming parents in mature age is ...
By Svetlana, 2020-08-11  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 272
AI Comment:
  • You had better rewrite the essay to 4 or 5 paragraphs.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 4 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Paragraph 5 seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 5.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a position is presented that is directly relevant to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident; however, the answer lacks contextualization, and cohesion within sentences is sometimes faulty.
- Help Link
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is limited, not adequate for the task, try to enhance IELTS vocabulary.
- Help Link
Answer 4
The age at which people have children is increasing more and more. Some people believe that families and countries have some adverse effects because of this. This essay explains my views on the age that people have children and if it hurts the family and country.
It is usually said that the best age of having ...
By Huma, 2020-07-05  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 306
AI Comment:
  • You had better rewrite the essay to 4 or 5 paragraphs.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(17) CHILDREN(11) THEIR(11); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 2.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Your response is ok, but the conclusion needs to rephrase. Besides, the original version has too many grammar errors.
Answer 5
What is the right age of having a baby is one of the most common topics among young couples nowadays. However, most of them strongly believe that it should be late still; some people say that this decision of new family planning affects not only their family but also the nation. I believe the same, and if this matter ...
By saba khilji, 2020-07-13  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 260
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 0.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
The response is ok in both logic and structure, but language skills need to be enhanced, the original version has too many grammar errors.
Answer 6
It is commonly seen nowadays that people tend to have babies at a late age due to their professional as well as personal lifestyle. It is certainly a negative trend for families and the nation. The various factors to prove it are discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.
Grandparents always have a desire to make a ...
By Simran , 2020-07-14  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 252
AI Comment:
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 1.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
The response is ok in both logic and structure, but language skills need to be enhanced, the original version has some grammar and vocabulary errors.
Answer 7
One of the most debatable issues these days is the right age of starting family; many proponents concur the belief that parents should have children at an early age in order to mitigate the challenges faced by families and nations. In contrast, I can't entirely agree with the notion, because I assert that it should ...
By Vinky , 2020-08-19  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 365
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(12) THEY(12) THEIR(12); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 2 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 8.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5
Task Response:
-Off-topic a little, The essay misses the focus "country", just talk about "family", the raters may doubt the essay is memorized,
Coherence and Cohesion:
-There is a clear overall progression in the response, but somewhat mechanically, with occasional errors
- Help Link
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice and spelling.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Some grammatical errors, such as article (a, an, the).
- Help Link1, Help Link2