IELTS General Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Most people prefer shopping in supermarkets nowadays. How does this affect the local shops? What are the positive and negative impacts of this development?

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4200816
TOPIC: Most people prefer shopping in supermarkets nowadays. How does this affect the local shops? What are the positive and negative impacts of this development?
Answer 1
With the introduction of giant supermarkets throughout all major cities across the world, it is becoming an increasingly popular trend to shop all our daily needs from them, instead of our own local shop.
The establishment of these supermarkets has shown an adverse effect on the small shops that have lost most of ...
By Pri, 2020-09-10  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 286
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 2.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a position is presented that is directly relevant to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generlly arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is quite wide and shows awareness of collocation, but there are rather too many errors for a higher band here.
-The essay didn't use less common vocabulary with accuracy.
- Help Link
Answer 2
In the present scenario, the supermarket has gained more popularity from the last two decades, and the majority of people buy things from big mart rather than the small shops. There are more positive sides purchase goods from malls, but we cannot deny the negative sides. I will share the pros and cons of supermarkets ...
By jarry, 2020-09-13  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 378
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(14) FROM(10) ARE(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Task Response:
-Only partially address the prompt, you should answer "affect the local shops" directly.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident and cohesive devices are used, though rather mechanically.
- Help Link
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is quite wide and shows awareness of collocation, but there are rather too many errors for a higher band here.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, they rarely reduce communication.
Answer 3
Recently, shopping habits are very different than before. The majority of people currently attend to do their shopping in supermarkets instead of buying their needs in the local shop as they used to do. In this essay, we will tackle the main financial and cultural effects of this new attitude on local and small markets ...
By HASNA AB, 2020-09-02  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 299
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(11) THEIR(8) LOCAL(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a position is presented that is directly relevant to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Some sentences are wordy or too long to understand.
Lexical Resources:
-Some spelling errors are noted; the essay's vocabulary is too plain.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There are attempts to produce complex structures, but these usually contain errors.
- Help Link
Answer 4
Today's generation wants to shop in supermarkets in comparison to the small shops in the locality. This trend can have adverse effects on the local shopkeepers. Conversely, supermarkets offer a huge variety of products that motivate consumers. The essay tries to put forth the impact of this trend, along with ...
By Navsan, 2020-08-31  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 318
AI Comment:
  • Paragraph 2 is relatively short, enrich it.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has PRODUCTS(8) SUPERMARKETS(6) THEIR(6); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 3 as start point.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 3.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5
Task Response:
-You should present views from two sides by the question, not just on how superstore wins; off-topic a little, the raters may doubt the essay is memorized.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Paragraphing is poorly handled, the focus of each is not always clear.
Lexical Resources:
-The essay didn't use less common vocabulary with accuracy.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Some grammatical errors are frequent, such as article (a, an, the).
- Help Link1, Help Link2
Answer 5
Consumers tend to go to a place where they can save their time and satisfy all their needs in one place, and it is an increasingly demanding phenomenon throughout the world. Each reaction in consumer behaviour changes the landscape of the retail sales industry. These changes severely affect the local shops' long term ...
By krish, 2020-09-10  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 301
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has THEIR(11) AND(9) LOCAL(9); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5
Task Response:
-Only partially address the prompt, You should focus on "positive and negative impacts", not just compare two types of shops.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-There are some errors in the use of cohesive devices.
- Help Link
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is limited, try to enhance IELTS vocabulary.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammatical errors are frequent, such as article (a, an, the).
- Help Link1, Help Link2
Answer 6
Nowadays, the rate of opening new supermarkets dramatically increased across the globe. They have also become the first choice of people. However, there is a light and dark side of this developmental change. In the looming paragraphs, I shall discuss the fruitful and adverse impacts of this.
Firstly, on the dark ...
By vaimik, 2020-09-13  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 247
AI Comment:
  • The essay is less than 250, doesn't match the basic criteria.
  • Paragraph 2 is relatively short, enrich it.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Paragraph 3 seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-There is some misunderstanding of the task. You missed the key "impacts of this development."
Coherence and Cohesion:
-It is an attempt to address the prompt, and some main ideas are put forward, but there is less discussion of "impacts."
Lexical Resources:
-The essay didn't use less common vocabulary with accuracy.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There are attempts to produce complex sentence forms, but there is a lack of grammatical control, which can cause some difficulty for the reader.
- Help Link
Answer 7
In recent years shopping in supermarkets has been preferred over local stores. While there are many benefits to shopping in supermarkets, there are also some drawbacks to consider. In this essay, I will explore some of the problems associated with it and propose some suggestions.
In the past 10-15 years, shopping in ...
By Vikrant, 2020-09-19  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 261
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has LOCAL(9) SHOPPING(6) SUPERMARKETS(6); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 8.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-Off-topic. It doesn't ask you why people like supermarket. The raters may doubt the essay is memorized, please prepare topics (not essays) in advance.
- Help Link1, Help Link2
Coherence and Cohesion:
-There is a clear overall progression in the response, but somewhat mechanically, with occasional errors
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with a fair degree of accuracy.