Some people think that if a country is already rich, any addition in economic wealth does not make its citizen happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #6081
Question:
Some people think that if a country is already rich, any addition to economic wealth does not make its citizens happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Answer Hints:
It would help if you chose a position before writing. Pay attention to the question that the country is already rich, so try not to touch the points like increasing people's income, reducing the gap between rich and poor, etc.

Support the view
  • Wealthy will drive people to pursue greater success, but they will be unhappy if they expect too much.
  • In a prosperous society, some people pursue luxury goods and show off wealth, which leads others to unhappiness.
Oppose the view
  • Wealthy lets us do more things that contribute to society.
  • A wealthy society gives people more time with family and friends.
Answer 1
Some people think that being richer can not bring happiness to citizens in a wealthy country. I can't entirely agree with this idea, although citizens in a developed nation may be happier with friends and families or create some hobbies...

The wealth gap exists everywhere, even in a developed country. The government can reduce it by levying taxes on the rich and allocating more funds to improve the life standard of the poor...

Few people think wealth isn't essential and don't have feelings when making money. What are the feelings...

Spending time with families and friends or fostering hobbies may make dwellers in a wealthy nation much happier...

In conclusion, residents in a rich country can also receive happiness and satisfaction by being more wealthy, although they may acquire further happiness from families, friends, and hobbies...
Band: 7
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words30415851%
Top 300 Words149 (49%)53 (33%)35%
300 - 1000 Words69 (22%)43 (27%)62%
Over 1000 Words86 (28%)62 (39%)72%
Other Comments (henryhe)
Link Words: 26 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 16; Average Length: 115 characters; Words/Sentence: 19
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(12), may(6), they(6), can(4), happiness(4), wealthy(4), with(4); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
Task Response:
-Ideas relating to each sector mentioned in the prompt are presented, but some are not developed much. The 2nd and 3rd paragraphs can be merged.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generally arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is quite broad and shows awareness of collocation.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with a fair degree of accuracy.