Safety standards are important when building people's homes

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2004
Question:
Safety standards are important when building people's homes. Who should be responsible for enforcing strict building codes – the government or the people who build the homes?
Answer 1
The population of the world is increasing, and so is the need for more houses, commercial buildings, and other constructions, which are escalating as well...

Some people opine that the government is solely responsible for ensuring the safety and codes, while others believe that house owners are the persons who should be responsible...

First, it is out of the scope of the government to appoint necessary manpower and monitoring systems in every place where the construction works would occur...

The workers who work for contractions, including the architect, engineer, and laborer, should know the safety rules and codes and protest when they believe a rule might have been violated and ignored...

In conclusion, the Government does not have the necessary scope to monitor each & every construction in a country, and the house owners must know the safety procedures, standards, and rules to ensure safety...
Band: 7
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Answer 2
The more people, the more houses. New buildings are being constructed faster, and accidents related to buildings are rising accordingly...

Giving responsibility to the government is better for different reasons. Firstly, we as individuals pay taxes to ensure better facilities, and the government must ensure that the countrymen get proper accommodation...

On the other hand, the government can't appoint necessary manpower and ensure that the law is followed...

Overall, the government is made to show the path of how to work. It is responsible for making laws and strengthening them...
Band: 6
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words22311049%
Top 300 Words117 (52%)43 (39%)36%
300 - 1000 Words41 (18%)23 (20%)56%
Over 1000 Words65 (29%)44 (40%)67%
Other Comments (ieltsband)
Link Words: 16 (including link phrase: 0)
Sentences: Number: 15; Average Length: 94 characters; Words/Sentence: 14
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is less than 250, doesn't match the basic criteria.
-The introduction seems long, refine sentences.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has are(8), and(8), government(7), ensure(5), more(4), that(4), responsibility(4); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.