Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society

IELTS Writing Task 2 & Answer

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2011
Question:
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Answer 1
Moral education for children has always been considered an important issue to instill in children the virtue of being good members of society. This includes teaching them values like kindness, selflessness, and humility.
Some people think that the best place for children to learn this at home. They vouch that ...
By Kunal, 2021-02-02  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 296
Band: 7
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a clear position is presented throughout the response.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generally arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression. However, some sentences are wordy or too long to understand.
Lexical Resources:
-There is a good range of vocabulary, and there are some less common words and phrases
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with a fair degree of accuracy.
Answer 2
Few people can exist alone. Now that we have to be a member of society, young kids have to learn how to join in the society. Some people believe this is parents' duty, while...
By Ahmed Mint, 2018-02-12  View full answer
Total words: 318
Band: NA
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has THEIR(13) CHILDREN(8) THIS(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest to use a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Paragraph 2 seems too plain, try to polish it.
Answer 3
A child’s education has never been about learning information and basic skills only. It has always included teaching the next generation how to be good members of society....
By Jiabao Lam, 2017-10-16  View full answer
Total words: 267
Band: NA
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(12) SOCIETY(6) THEIR(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.