In many countries, people are concerned about the number of children who are overweight

IELTS Writing Task 2 & Answer

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2019
Question:
In many countries, people are concerned about the number of children who are overweight. What do you think are the causes of this? What do you think are the causes of this?
Answer 1
In some countries, including the USA and Britain, an increasing number of children are overweight. This is due to a combination of poor diet and lack of exercise. Children tend...
By Jiabao Lam, 2017-10-17  View full answer
Total words: 268
Band: 7
  • The introduction isn't strong enough, suggest to enhance it.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 2 as start point.
  • Suggest to use a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
Answer 2
Children overweight is becoming one of the common heath issues amongst many countries. It's generally due to changes of modern society and technology. This essay will discuss...
By Yuong Surira, 2017-10-28  View full answer
Total words: 258
Band: NA
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Suggest to refine coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.