In many countries, people are concerned about the number of overweight children

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2019
In many countries, people are concerned about the number of overweight children. What do you think are the causes of this?
Answer 1
In some countries, including the USA and Britain, an increasing number of children are overweight...

Children tend to be attracted to food high in sugar and fat, such as various forms of fast food. They also tend to be ignorant of what constitutes a healthy diet...

On top of that, children are much less active than they used to be. While in the past young people took part in activities that burned a considerable amount of energy, children today spend their time indoors, sitting at computers or playing video games...

Several steps need to be taken to solve this problem. The first is to educate children about nutrition...

Children also need to be encouraged to participate in sports. Again, schools have a significant role in this by offering a wide range of activities...
Band: 6.5
View full answer
View comments
Answer 2
Children overweight is becoming one of the common heath issues amongst many countries. It's generally due to changes in modern society and technology...

One of the prominent likely causes of giving rise to this problem is the significant change in our lifestyle due to remarkable advancements in technology, which has a considerable impact on our daily life and health...

In my opinion, teachers, parents, and the government as a whole should take this issue as an emergency and take the necessary steps...

In conclusion, although many countries are now falling into similar issues of unhealthy diets, we can defeat this issue by some steps such as limiting the junk food consumed by children...
Band: 6
View full answer
View comments
Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words24413655%
Top 300 Words120 (49%)47 (34%)39%
300 - 1000 Words43 (17%)32 (23%)74%
Over 1000 Words81 (33%)57 (41%)70%
Other Comments (yuongsurira)
Link Words: 23 (including link phrase: 3)
Sentences: Number: 12; Average Length: 127 characters; Words/Sentence: 20
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is less than 250, doesn't match the basic criteria.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.