Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than their achievements, which has set a bad example for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It's an open question. You can choose to agree, partially agree, or disagree. However, it's the mainstream choice to agree with the view. In the essay, you cannot miss the topics of glamour, wealth, and achievement.
- Some celebrities in media or the web are not due to achievements.
- Some celebrities show wealth to appeal to the eyes and make money.
- Some celebrities don't have real glamour, disguise themselves, and cheat others.
- Celebrities' effects mislead youth to repeat their stories to get shortcuts and easy money.
- Most celebrities don't break laws; they are successful people.
- The achievements of celebrities surpass average people, and their stories can positively encourage youth.
- Some celebrities make easy money, but some also give feedback or donate to society.
Celebrities are the most influential people around. They are very commonly associated with the faces of a nation. Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than their achievements. I strongly agree with the statement. Since the rise of social media, more people have started following and liking ...
Total words: 377
Band: 7.5The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.Task Response:
-The logic and reasoning look good, but some sentences seem wordy and not in the style that academic writing should be in.Coherence and Cohesion:
-A range of cohesive devices is used flexibly, while each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed.Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision, and although there are a few spelling errors.Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a variety of complex structures with frequent error-free sentences and good control over grammar and punctuation.
Celebrities' behavior and influence on youngsters have increasingly become the focus of contemporary society. Though some modern stars' money and extravagant behavior could send a wrong message, they at the same time have the potential to be a role model for the young generation. I don't think they are bad examples for ...
Total words: 346
Band: 7The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a clear position and good examples are presented throughout the response.Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are logically organized, and there is a clear progression throughout the response.Lexical Resources:
-There is a wide range of vocabulary, used appropriately and naturally.Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammatical control is variable: some complex structures are produced accurately.
It is acknowledged that celebrities play an important role in our society, and accordingly, they affect a large slice of people, especially young people. Although many celebrities these days have no achievements to be mentioned, their publicity has increased for their high-class lifestyle and glamour. I think half are ...
Total words: 274
Band: 6The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.Task Response:
-The main ideas are extended and supported; the response is ok. But some ideas aren't supported with clear examples.Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident and cohesive devices are used, though rather mechanically.Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is limited, but just about adequate for the task, try to enhance IELTS vocabulary.Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a good range of complex structures, and many sentences have accurate grammar and punctuation.