Nowadays, some older people choose to live in retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?
Positive or negative question. You can choose either side to write.
- Socialized organizations can offer more scientific senior services, like food and health management.
- Easy to build connections among the same ages to play games or share thoughts.
- Avoid generation conflicts that are often in a big family.
- Retirement communities cannot offer personalized service per individual requirement.
- Lack of family atmosphere and communications with children and grandchildren.
- Not good for seniors to understand new things about society.
As people grow older, they need more professional treatment and careful caring, which their adult kids may not offer. So some of them go to retirement communities or hospitals. I believe this phenomenon brings more merits than demerits to both older people and their children.
Undoubtedly, sending seniors to ...
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Band: 6.5The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a position is presented that is directly relevant to the prompt, but the content should balance the views of both older people and their children.Coherence and Cohesion:
-Each paragraph has a clear central topic, which is developed, and there is an effective use of cohesive devices.Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is quite wide and shows awareness of collocation, but needs stronger vocabulary skills for a higher band.Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with a fair degree of accuracy.