In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or animal products, such as clothing and medicines. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #6094
Question:
In the modern world, using animals for food or animal products, such as clothing and medicines, is no longer necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Answer Hints:
You can choose either agreeing or disagreeing. The latter is relatively easy to write. You had better cover food, clothing, and medicine areas in your answer.

Agree
  • Synthetic materials and artificial replacements are continuously developed
  • Clothing and medicine already use lots of non-animal materials
  • More and more people decrease animal consumption in food
Disagree
  • Synthetic materials cannot wholly replace animal products
  • Animals are still crucial in food production and drug trials
  • Some artificial replacements cost too high for ordinary people
  • The animal food chain is a part of nature's rules.
Answer 1
In the 21st century, modern technology has changed the world profoundly. Some argue that we now have various elements and substances that can replace animals to produce meals and supply the medical and garment industries...

On the one hand, it is true to say that things made from those living things can bring some results that others can't do, especially food...

On the other hand, animal testing has played an essential role in the medical field. With technological developments, we can replace animal experiments with computer programs...

Of course, we need to decrease the abuse of creatures, especially some activities that have threatened their existence...

To sum up, animals have many features and characteristics that others have to make products to meet our demands...
Band: 6.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words28816155%
Top 300 Words131 (45%)53 (32%)40%
300 - 1000 Words71 (24%)40 (24%)56%
Over 1000 Words86 (29%)68 (42%)79%
Other Comments (beiwanlee)
Link Words: 21 (including link phrase: 2)
Sentences: Number: 16; Average Length: 114 characters; Words/Sentence: 18
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a position that is directly relevant to the prompt is presented. But some ideas aren't supported with clear examples; a better way is to discuss food, clothing, and medicine separately.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident, and cohesive devices are used, though mechanically.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with a fair degree of accuracy.