Due to advances in science and technology, the lifestyle of people everywhere in the world has become similar

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #6124
Question:
Due to advances in science and technology, the lifestyle of people everywhere in the world has become similar. Is this a positive or negative development?
Answer 1
The advances in science and technology have brought people closer and caused people to have a similar lifestyle...

Technology has spread worldwide as people might be culturally different, but they're exposed to similar technology and scientific innovations...

Technological advancements such as the Internet have brought us closer to other parts of the world; we can now connect and learn about the innovations in other countries...

I believe the convergence of technology and lifestyle has only brought humans closer. However, we cannot negate that we barely think outside the box...
Band: 6
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words33515245%
Top 300 Words164 (48%)56 (36%)34%
300 - 1000 Words53 (15%)28 (18%)52%
Over 1000 Words118 (35%)68 (44%)57%
Other Comments (sud)
Link Words: 28 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 17; Average Length: 127 characters; Words/Sentence: 19
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The conclusion is wordy, try to simplify it.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(15), technology(8), people(7), has(6), lifestyle(5), innovations(5), world(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
Task Response:
-Don't express a clear position in the whole essay. The example about plastic isn't persuasive here. It isn't an excellent example of your 'positive' view; the conclusion is too long.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident, and cohesive devices are used, though mechanically.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task but has errors in word choice.