Due to advances in science and technology, the lifestyle of people ...

IELTS Writing Task 2 & Answer: Due to advances in science and technology, the lifestyle of people everywhere in the world has become similar. Is this a positive or negative development?

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #6124
Question:
Due to advances in science and technology, the lifestyle of people everywhere in the world has become similar. Is this a positive or negative development?
Answer 1
The advances in science and technology have brought people closer and caused people to have a similar lifestyle. In my opinion, it seems to be a positive development as many people can utilize the technological advances.
Technology has spread worldwide as people might be culturally different, but they're exposed to ...
By Sud, 2021-04-14  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 348
Band: 6
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-Don't express a clear position in the whole essay. The example (Plastic) isn'tĀ persuasive here. It isn't a good example of your "positive" view; besides, the conclusion is too long.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident and cohesive devices are used, though rather mechanically.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, but has errors in word choice and spelling.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but there are errors in grammatical control, like in punctuation.