Some people say that traveling abroad is necessary to get knowledge about other countries, while others suggest that TV and the internet can also help people know about foreign countries

IELTS Writing Task 2 & Answer

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #6860
Question:
Some people say that traveling abroad is necessary to get knowledge about other countries, while others suggest that TV and the internet can also help people know about foreign countries. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Answer 1
There is a common belief that if people want to expand their knowledge of other countries, it is vital to visit them. This opinion might be revenant for affluent societies. However, for learning about diverse cultures and traditions, access to internet connection and TV is enough. Without a shadow of a doubt, I agree ...
By Tima , 2021-07-13  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 290
Band: 6.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-You should present views from two sides by the question. The essay needs to balance the sides' views.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Some paragraphs are rather short, due to a lack of development of ideas.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a wide range of structures, these are used flexibly; however, there are occasional errors in grammar.