In both education and employment, some people work much harder than others

IELTS Writing Task 2 & Answer: In both education and employment, some people work much harder than others. What makes people work harder than others? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7037
Question:
In both education and employment, some people work much harder than others. What makes people work harder than others? Is it always a good thing to work hard?
Answer 1
In today's contemporary era, the number of industrious individuals who devote a large amount of their time to success at work or study has increased. Because of several awards and incentives employees receive at their workplace and job satisfaction, they motivated themselves to work as hard as possible. Although ...
By Aruzhan, 2021-06-21  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 378
Band: 7.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-Ideas relating to each sector mentioned in the prompt are presented.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are presented, extended, and supported, arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-There is a wide range of vocabulary, used appropriately and naturally, substitution is usually good, although there is some repetition.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a variety of complex structures with frequent error-free sentences and good control over grammar and punctuation.
Answer 2
It is said that a dream does not become a reality by magic. It requires a lot of determination and hard work. However, it is seen that hard work done by a few people is comparatively more than the others while studying and job. In this essay, I will discuss why some people are more diligent than others and state why ...
By Shivani Bajaj, 2021-06-26  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 343
Band: 6.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a position is presented that is directly relevant to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Each paragraph has a clear central topic, which is developed, and there is an effective use of cohesive devices.
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is limited, but just about adequate for the task, try to enhance IELTS vocabulary.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a wide range of structures, these are used flexibly; however, there are occasional errors.
Answer 3
The survival of an individual in the present world mainly depends on his efforts in his daily activities, including education and livelihood. Many people put an extraordinary effort into their life to reach their particular dream, while many others are not giving much energy to their mission. Working hard is essential ...
By Sinoj Xavier, 2021-06-26  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 348
Band: 6
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-The reason part is good, but doesn't answer "Is it always a good thing"; the essay's structure isn't balanced.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is logical, and there is a clear central topic to each paragraph.
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is quite wide and shows awareness of collocation.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, they rarely reduce communication. The original version has grammatical errors, such as nouns (singular, plural).
- Help Link1, Help Link2
Answer 4
Global scenarios have been noticed worldwide that a section of society prefers to practice extremely tough in studies and jobs whereas other masses don't work much. Due to cutthroat competition, it is highly recommended to focus on a career so that one can live their life joyfully. The upcoming essay will elaborate on ...
By Nidhi, 2021-06-28  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 267
Band: 5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-Don't express a clear position in the whole essay, missed the second question "Is it always a good."
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Some paragraphs are rather short, due to a lack of development of ideas.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice and spelling.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, they rarely reduce communication.