Some people work much harder in education and employment than others

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7037
Question:
Some people work much harder in education and employment than others. What makes people work harder than others? Is it always a good thing to work hard?
Answer 1
In today's contemporary era, the number of industrious individuals who devote much of their time to success at work or study has increased...

To commence with, the leading cause of working hard is the opportunity to assist all members of society to reach their goals...

From my perspective, working or studying with lots of effort benefits both schoolchildren and adults...

To conclude, many struggle to work better than others because of awards, money, and lifelong goals, making their lives more convenient...
Band: 7.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words36019654%
Top 300 Words184( 51%)54( 27%)29%
300 - 1000 Words51( 14%)38( 19%)74%
Over 1000 Words125( 34%)104( 53%)83%
Other Comments (aruzhan)
Link Words: 34 (including link phrase: 2)
Sentences: Number: 17; Average Length: 128 characters; Words/Sentence: 21
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is too long, try to shrink it.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(20), their(9), work(7), they(7), time(5), with(5), not(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
Task Response:
-Ideas relating to each sector mentioned in the prompt are presented.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are presented, extended, supported, and arranged coherently, and a clear overall progression exists.
Lexical Resources:
-There is a wide range of vocabulary, used appropriately and naturally, substitution is usually good, although there is some repetition.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There are various complex structures with frequent error-free sentences and good control over grammar and punctuation.
Answer 2
It is said that a dream does not become a reality by magic. It requires a lot of determination and hard work...

The two main reasons for several individuals to be more hardworking are passion and economic problems in the family...

Another reason is the economic problems in the family. When a child is studying, knowing that his parents are spending all of their finances on his studies, he puts in extra effort to be successful even if they are going through difficult times...

Some people argue that intelligent work is enough to succeed, but I'm afraid I have to disagree. Even though brilliant work is also required today, hard work is vital to a person's success as it is a solution to long-term success...

So, to conclude, hard work may seem the long way to achieve something, and shortcuts mainly entice people to success, but there is no shortcut to long-term success...
Band: 6.5
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Answer 3
The survival of an individual in the present world mainly depends on his efforts in his daily activities, including education and livelihood...

Multiple factors make employees or students work hard; the main reason is a burning desire to be a successful individual in life...

In addition, people's attitude is another factor that makes them work more, especially those who never give up...

In conclusion, the success of an individual is based on hard work. The person working hard is a signboard and motivation for future generations willing to take the path of success...
Band: 6
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Answer 4
Global scenarios have been noticed worldwide that a section of society prefers to practice extremely tough in studies and jobs whereas other masses don't work much...

First and foremost, nowadays, individuals are more fascinated by their goals, whereas some don't have clear goals; therefore, adolescents put in more effort to achieve their desires...

However, without more effort, no one has received success. After more training, mistakes can be realized and will be rectified in the future...

Agglomerating above all points, to remain successful, one must have to be focused. Even to maintain living standards, which are only possible after earning well...
Band: 5.5
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