Some people think that individuals are becoming more dependent on each other in modern society, while others believe that individuals are becoming more independent.

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7041
Question:
Some people think that individuals are becoming more dependent on each other in modern society, while others believe that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Answer Hints:
Discussion two views of the topic.

For the support side, discuss why people are now dependent on each other.

For the object side, discuss why people are becoming independent.

The most common mistake is to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of independence or cooperation just on one side.

The first point of view:
  • Social work is becoming more and more complicated and arduous;
  • Work needs to be done in cooperation;
  • Interdependence in everyday life;
  • The economic pressure of youth;
  • It is difficult for some to survive and solve problems independently;
  • Modern people need services from different industries
The second point of view:
  • The development of modern science and technology makes life easy;
  • Diversity society offers more options that do not rely on others;
  • Personal rights and freedom are pushing the independent trends.
Answer 1
While some believe that modernization has made us more reliant on each other, others think that we are more self-reliant and free from dependency on others as time has progressed...

People who advocate that we have become more dependent on each other in this modern era often present the idea that our necessity has increased and we need to interact with far more people...

However, I agree with those who opine that modernization has made us free and less reliant on others...

In conclusion, though some people think that the modern era is when we are more reliant on each other, I believe we are more free and self-reliant...
Band: 7.5
View full answer
View comments
Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words31415248%
Top 300 Words157 (50%)55 (36%)35%
300 - 1000 Words87 (27%)44 (28%)50%
Over 1000 Words70 (22%)53 (34%)75%
Other Comments (tonybiden)
Link Words: 22 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 16; Average Length: 116 characters; Words/Sentence: 19
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(14), more(8), that(7), people(7), has(6), others(6), each(4); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:
-This is a well-organized essay, presenting ideas on both sides and developing these ideas effectively throughout the response. However, family-related examples aren't very fit to the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-A range of cohesive devices is used flexibly, while each paragraph has a precise central topic that is developed.
Lexical Resources:
-Vocabulary is the strongest aspect of the response.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammar and punctuation are well controlled.