Some people think that individuals are becoming more dependent on each other in modern society, while others believe that individuals are becoming more independent.

IELTS Writing Task 2 & Answer

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7041
Question:
Some people think that individuals are becoming more dependent on each other in modern society, while others believe that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Answer Hints:
Discussion two views of the topic.

For the support side, discuss why people are now dependent on each other.

For the object side, discuss why people are becoming independent.

The most common mistake is to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of independence or cooperation just on one side.

The first point of view:
  • Social work is becoming more and more complicated and arduous;
  • Work needs to be done in cooperation;
  • Interdependence in everyday life;
  • The economic pressure of youth;
  • It is difficult for some to survive and solve problems independently;
  • Modern people need services from different industries
The second point of view:
  • The development of modern science and technology makes life easy;
  • Diversity society offers more options that do not rely on others;
  • Personal rights and freedom are pushing the independent trends.
Answer 1
While some believe that modernization has made us more reliant on each other, others think that we are more self-reliant and free from dependency on others as time has progressed. I believe that we have become more independent than at any time in history.
People who advocate that we have become more dependent on ...
By Tony Biden, 2021-07-28  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 420
Band: 7.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-This is a well-organized essay, presenting ideas on both sides, developing these ideas effectively throughout the response. However, family-related examples aren't very fit to the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-A range of cohesive devices is used flexibly, while each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed.
Lexical Resources:
-Vocabulary is the strongest aspect of the response.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammar and punctuation are well controlled.