Today foods travel thousands of miles from the farm to the consumers. Why is this? Is it a positive or negative trend?
Mixed topic. The first part is to answer the reason, the second part is to give your view. (Negative trend is easier to write for this topic.)
The first part: Cause
- Social perspective: A. Urbanization; B. The city has become larger and the demand for food has increased;
- Long-distance transportation technology: A. Food technology development; B. Food preservation and mass production;
- Economic perspective: A. Increasing producers' income; B. helping transportation and other business;
The second part: Point of view:
- Positive: A. Local consumers have more choices; more nutritious; B. Cheaper price;
- Negative: A: Transportation causes environmental damage; B. Food storage time is longer, not healthy to the body; C: impact local food industry;
With the advance of technologies has been increasingly popular food make a long journey until arrive at people's table. Large manufactories are expanding their business around the world, which possibly reaches a huge number of people. This essay will discuss why long travels happen and why this negative trend can lead ...
Band: 8The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a clear position is presented throughout the response; ideas relating to each sector mentioned in the prompt are presented, but there is not much development of some.Coherence and Cohesion:
-The writing is well organized, and there is clear progression throughout, although the use of some cohesive devices could be more flexible.Lexical Resources:
-There is a good range of vocabulary, and there are some less common words and phrasesGrammar Range and Accuracy:
-A variety of complex structures is used with some flexibility and accuracy.
People no longer completely rely on locally grown food as we can now purchase food grown in some distant land. Though this trend has some benefits, it has some severe disadvantages, making it a dangerous trend.
We live in a global village, can transport food grown anywhere to other parts of the world. It ensures ...
Total words: 215
Band: 6The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.Task Response:
-The reason part is too weak; the essay's structure isn't balanced.Coherence and Cohesion:
-It is an attempt to address the prompt, and some main ideas are put forward, but there is no discussion of "Why is this".Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though some word choices have defect.Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a good range of complex structures, and many sentences have accurate grammar and punctuation.