Nowadays, more and more people from different cities are spending more time away from their families. What are the possible reasons and the effects on the people themselves and their families?
Mixed topics. Two questions: reason and effect
The first question: Reason
Leaving home and spending less time with family
- Pursuing career success
- Long working hours
- A larger circle of friends than before
- Social life is richer than before
The first question: Impact
- Spend less time with family members (negative)
- Lack of communication and bonding among family (negative)
- Enjoy more personal freedom (positive)
- Life satisfaction may increase (positive)
Since time immemorial, the pattern of living and living style has been changing day by day. In this day and age, many people are staying in different big cities away from their families. The desire for higher studies and better working opportunities are the predominant reasons behind this phenomenon, creating many ...
Band: 8The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a clear position is presented throughout the response.Coherence and Cohesion:
-A range of cohesive devices is used flexibly, while each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed.Lexical Resources:
-There is a wide range of vocabulary, used appropriately and naturally; vocabulary is the strongest aspect of the response.Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammatical control is variable: some complex structures are produced accurately.
Indeed, a great number of people nowadays are living and working far from their homes. There could be various reasons for this reality, and I will discuss its effects on the people and their families in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, that people spend more time away from their families may result from some ...
Band: 6.5The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.Task Response:
-Main ideas are relevant, but some would benefit from further development., e.g. better examples.Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generally arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though the essay didn't use less common vocabulary with accuracy.Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a good range of complex structures, and many sentences have accurate grammar and punctuation.