In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility.

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7060
Question:
In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should be responsible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Answer Hints:
You can choose either agree or disagree to write, but "agree" or partial "agree" should be easier to answer.

Agree
  • Government should be held accountable for health issues, including Children's health.
  • Children's health problems will finally impact social development.
  • Children's health problems are mainly related to food, the government can regulate food business behavior.
Disagree
  • Society needs to drop some unhealthy conventions, especially in food or eating.
  • Parents should encourage children to exercise outdoor, manage menus in scientific ways in order to prevent overweight.
Answer 1
In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. The trend has been even worse in recent years...

As the government is responsible for its country's social development and economic growth, it must take steps to manage and enhance the health of its youth...

However, health management for the next generation is also society's duty and its individuals. Health issues, like being overweight, among children worsen with age and might result in other severe diseases such as heart disorders and high blood pressure...

In conclusion, I agree that governments are responsible for solving the problem of unhealthy and overweight children...
Band: 7
View full answer
View comments
Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words27714652%
Top 300 Words132 (47%)41 (28%)31%
300 - 1000 Words40 (14%)31 (21%)77%
Over 1000 Words105 (37%)74 (50%)70%
Other Comments (backadonu)
Link Words: 27 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 16; Average Length: 109 characters; Words/Sentence: 17
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(16), children(6), health(6), for(5), would(5), unhealthy(4), individuals(4); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
Task Response:
-This is a well-organized essay, presenting your ideas and developing these ideas effectively throughout the response.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is logical, and each paragraph has a clear central topic.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice. A few sentences are wordy.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammatical control is variable: some complex structures are produced accurately.