Some people think the primary purpose of schools is to turn the children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals.
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Question:
Some people think the primary purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Some people think the primary purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Answer Hints:
Notice the "to what extend" in the topic. Absolutely agreement or objection is easy to offend raters. It can be approximately regarded as the subject of should. You can discuss the advantages or reasons for "turning children into good citizens or good workers."
Notice the "to what extend" in the topic. Absolutely agreement or objection is easy to offend raters. It can be approximately regarded as the subject of should. You can discuss the advantages or reasons for "turning children into good citizens or good workers."
Agree
- The government's responsibility to make society stable and harmonious.
- Fostering the quality of people and cultivating people to be called good citizens and workers.
- Government investment in education should have a return.
Disagree
- Education knowledge is beneficial to a child's personal development.
- Encourages self-expression and self-realization to build stronger capability.
- Every child's potential energy or special skill needs to be uncovered.
Answer 1
Schools are the lighthouse of a nation. If education is the backbone of a country, schools are the place to build it...
First, the primary goal of education is to build up a civil society with morality, honesty, and integrity as critical characteristics...
Second, states spend a lot of money to keep the schools and their education system running. A significant portion of this spending comes from tax money...
In conclusion, making ideal citizens and dedicated workers should be the true objective of our schools...
First, the primary goal of education is to build up a civil society with morality, honesty, and integrity as critical characteristics...
Second, states spend a lot of money to keep the schools and their education system running. A significant portion of this spending comes from tax money...
In conclusion, making ideal citizens and dedicated workers should be the true objective of our schools...
Band: 7
Word Statistics
| Group | Word Number | Distinct | Percent |
|---|---|---|---|
| All Words | 367 | 158 | 43% |
| Top 300 Words | 201 (54%) | 53 (33%) | 26% |
| 300 - 1000 Words | 60 (16%) | 37 (23%) | 61% |
| Over 1000 Words | 106 (28%) | 68 (43%) | 64% |
Other Comments (abanidan)
Link Words: 21 (including link phrase: 0)
Sentences: Number: 19; Average Length: 116 characters; Words/Sentence: 19
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is too long, try to shrink it.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(13), education(9), schools(7), should(7), society(6), our(6), for(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is too long, try to shrink it.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(13), education(9), schools(7), should(7), society(6), our(6), for(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Ideas are usually expressed fully, but this is a complex topic. Notice 'to what extent' in the topic. Simply agreeing or disagreeing with both are easy to offend the raters.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-A range of cohesive devices is used flexibly, while each paragraph has a precise central topic that is developed.
Lexical Resources:
-A wide range of vocabulary is used appropriately and naturally.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammar and punctuation are well controlled. A variety of complex structures is used with some flexibility and accuracy.