In today's world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? This is a positive or negative development?

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7080
Question:
In today's world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Answer Hints:
The essay has two parts: reason and your position. Choosing negative is relatively easy to write than positive.

Reason
  • Looking younger means looking stronger and smarter.
  • Society prefers offering more chances to young people.
  • Some jobs and chances are only open to young or nice appearance.
Negative development
  • Medicine or treatment causes side effects and health issues.
  • Spending lots of money, which should have better usage.
  • Looking younger cannot really make people stronger or wiser.
Positive development
  • Some jobs and chances are only open to young or nice appearance.
  • Giving people confidence.
  • Promote diverse living and consumption.
Answer 1
Due to the rapid technological progression, people can let themselves look younger. Some wish to look young because it means stronger, wiser, and more attractive in some job sectors...

The main reason is that today's world is in heavy competition and everyone tries to beat others. A youthful appearance is becoming a core factor among rivals...

Nevertheless, I believe it is a wrong development because it causes many perilous ailments. Firstly, beauty cosmetics possibly cause people to suffer from side effects, and a few beauty creams have even been reported to cause skin cancer...

In conclusion, younger means more chances. Some people expend massive wealth on beauty cosmetics, surgeries, and treatments to look more youthful...
Band: 7
View full answer
View comments
Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words33518856%
Top 300 Words147 (43%)54 (28%)36%
300 - 1000 Words75 (22%)48 (25%)64%
Over 1000 Words113 (33%)86 (45%)76%
Other Comments (paluohan)
Link Words: 22 (including link phrase: 0)
Sentences: Number: 22; Average Length: 94 characters; Words/Sentence: 15
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:
Ideas are usually expressed fully, but the 'actress' example isn't good here.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-A range of cohesive devices is used flexibly, while each paragraph has a precise central topic that is developed.
Lexical Resources:
-Vocabulary is the strongest aspect of the response. Substitution is usually good, although there is some repetition.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammatical control is variable: some complex structures are produced accurately.