In today's world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? This is a positive or negative development?

IELTS Writing Task 2 & Answer

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7080
Question:
In today's world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Answer Hints:
The essay has two parts: reason and your position. Choosing negative is relatively easy to write than positive.

Reason
  • Looking younger means looking stronger and smarter.
  • Society prefers offering more chances to young people.
  • Some jobs and chances are only open to young or nice appearance.
Negative development
  • Medicine or treatment causes side effects and health issues.
  • Spending lots of money, which should have better usage.
  • Looking younger cannot really make people stronger or wiser.
Positive development
  • Some jobs and chances are only open to young or nice appearance.
  • Giving people confidence.
  • Promote diverse living and consumption.
Answer 1
Due to the rapid technological progression, people can let themselves look younger. Some have great wishes to look young because it means stronger and wiser and is attractive in some job sectors. I believe it's a negative trend as it causes many harmful diseases and wastage of wealth.
The main reason is that today's ...
By Paluo Han, 2022-08-02  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 336
Band: 7.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-Ideas are usually expressed fully, but the "actress" example isn't nice here.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-A range of cohesive devices is used flexibly, while each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed.
Lexical Resources:
-Vocabulary is the strongest aspect of the response. Substitution is usually good, although there is some repetition.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammatical control is variable: some complex structures are produced accurately.