Many people fail to achieve a balance between work and the other parts of life. What causes the situation? How to overcome this problem?

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7116
Question:
Many people fail to achieve a balance between work and the other parts of life. What causes the situation? How do we overcome this problem?
Answer Hints:
The answer should have two parts: causes and solutions. The other parts of life can be learning, travel, family activity, or any hobby. You may mention one or two in the essay. Your causes and solutions should have connections, and it would help if you had your own example in either part.

Causes
  • Desire to be successful, economic and living pressures.
  • Competition in peers.
  • Poor time management.
  • Hard work and long work culture in the lousy enterprise.
  • Teammates are so close that there are no boundaries in or out of work.
  • Instant tools can touch employees anytime.
Solutions
  • Promote the correct view to balance work and life, e.g., health and family are at least as important as work.
  • Set up career plans according to your own condition and pace.
  • Study new skills and technology to improve time management.
  • Develop a humanized enterprise culture to limit work in its place and time.
Answer 1
Achieving a balance between work and other aspects of life can be challenging for many people for various reasons...

The first is economic and living pressures. Societal and workplace expectations often create stress for individuals to excel in their careers...

To overcome the problem, I see three aspects to start. We can help individuals set up the correct personal values and career goals to invest proportionately in other vital aspects of life, such as a happy family...

Achieving a balance between work and life requires individual effort and organizational support. The critical point is to promote the importance of maintaining a healthy equilibrium and let it become common sense in society...
Band: 6.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words30917055%
Top 300 Words144 (46%)51 (30%)35%
300 - 1000 Words71 (22%)46 (27%)64%
Over 1000 Words94 (30%)73 (42%)77%
Other Comments (ricklee)
Link Words: 24 (including link phrase: 2)
Sentences: Number: 19; Average Length: 103 characters; Words/Sentence: 16
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:
-The main ideas are relevant, but some are insufficiently developed. The solution part is weak; the essay's structure isn't balanced.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generally arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a good range of complex structures, and many sentences have accurate grammar and punctuation.