Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7120
Question:
Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Answer Hints:
It's a difficult topic. As an ordinary individual, agreeing with the statement is easy to write. On this side, you don't need to look for excuses for young criminals.

Agree
  • Individuals, regardless of age, should face consequences for criminal behavior.
  • The law is for deterring criminals; youth shouldn't be an exception.
  • Laws are to protect all people, and equal to all people.
  • Any back door for young criminals may lead more youth to challenge laws.
Disagree
  • Youth may lack knowledge or education of laws.
  • Maturity level and capacity for understanding make it easier for youth to break laws.
  • Compared with adults, young criminals are more likely to back to normal society life.
Answer 1
The question of how to treat young people who commit crimes is complex and has been a subject of debate...

At first, crime is a crime no matter who commits it. Everyone should take personal responsibility and accountability for their actions...

The law is for the deterrence of criminals and the protection of society. The fear of adult-level consequences may act as a deterrent, discouraging young people from engaging in criminal activities...

I admit that maturity level and capacity for understanding consequences vary among young people. A case-by-case assessment is more appropriate than a blanket approach based on age...

There has been a growing recognition of the need for a more nuanced approach to young offenders in recent years...
Band: 7.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words37618549%
Top 300 Words170 (45%)52 (28%)30%
300 - 1000 Words68 (18%)41 (22%)60%
Over 1000 Words138 (36%)92 (49%)66%
Other Comments (ricklee)
Link Words: 22 (including link phrase: 2)
Sentences: Number: 24; Average Length: 95 characters; Words/Sentence: 15
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is too long, try to shrink it.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(8), young(7), crime(6), people(5), should(5), for(5), age(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:
-The main ideas are relevant and developed. It's a complex topic, but the answer is quite good.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are logically organized, and the response has a clear progression.
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision, although there are a few choice errors.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammar and punctuation are well controlled.