Some think dangerous extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7125
Question:
Some think dangerous extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Answer Hints:
The answer is to disagree because no government can ban these sorts of extreme sports. To match the question, you must mention skydiving and rock climbing in the essay. Besides, the essay should have a paragraph to show the safety concerns.

Reasons not to ban
  • Individuals' rights to engage in activities that do not pose a significant risk to others.
  • Extreme sports discover and develop valuable life skills and deepen our knowledge about nature and ourselves.
  • Extreme sports can contribute to the economy through tourism, events, and related industries.
  • Establishing safety standards can save more people if governments opt for regulation rather than outright prohibition.
Address the safety concerns
  • Governments establish safety standards and licensing requirements.
  • Education and awareness campaigns to inform the public about the risks associated with extreme sports.
Answer 1
The unprecedented growth of accidents in dangerous sports has become a significant threat to participants...

Undoubtedly, adventurous sports have been becoming popular with youngsters all over the globe. Doing a blanket ban on those sports is not an appropriate solution for the long term...

On the other hand, dangerous extreme sports are not only entertainment. Take skydiving and rock climbing as examples; they can be transformative experiences for typical individuals and help them discover and develop valuable life skills...

However, I agree the government is responsible for putting these sports under registered organizations' guidance and using high-quality standards and equipment to protect players...

To reiterate, banning dangerous sports is not a real solution. It is rightly said that the forbidden fruit is always the sweetest...
Band: 7.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words35719354%
Top 300 Words175 (49%)68 (35%)38%
300 - 1000 Words49 (13%)33 (17%)67%
Over 1000 Words133 (37%)92 (47%)69%
Other Comments (ricklee)
Link Words: 21 (including link phrase: 0)
Sentences: Number: 25; Average Length: 91 characters; Words/Sentence: 14
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is too long, try to shrink it.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has sports(16), and(14), dangerous(5), for(5), with(4), government(4), can(4); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:
-Ideas are usually expressed fully, but the example is old and not precise, which degrades the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generally arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-Vocabulary is the strongest aspect of the response. Substitution is usually good, although there is some repetition.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a good range of complex structures, and many sentences have accurate grammar and punctuation.