Some think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe they are caused by people born evil.

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7133
Question:
Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Answer Hints:
By the prompt, you need to discuss both views. But it's actually not a debate that can be balanced. The correct side is to support that crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems.

Crimes are due to external
  • Poverty, difficult to survive
  • Unemployment, feelings of no future
  • Inadequate social support, desperation
  • Lack of access to education
  • Some internal factors are due to education
Crimes are due to internal
  • Genetic predispositions
  • Personality traits
  • Dysfunctional upbringing
Answer 1
The debate over the root causes of crime revolves around contrasting perspectives regarding the influence of individual character versus external circumstances...

One side argues that crime is often a product of systemic injustices and socioeconomic inequalities that create conditions conducive to criminal behavior...

Conversely, the other side contends that individuals engage in criminal behavior due to inherent moral deficiencies or deviant tendencies...

In conclusion, the causes of crime are multifaceted and multifactorial, encompassing a complex interplay of individual, social, and environmental influences...
Band: 6.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words32715547%
Top 300 Words111 (33%)28 (18%)25%
300 - 1000 Words49 (14%)30 (19%)61%
Over 1000 Words167 (51%)97 (62%)58%
Other Comments (dingyello)
Link Words: 35 (including link phrase: 5)
Sentences: Number: 15; Average Length: 161 characters; Words/Sentence: 21
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The conclusion is wordy, try to simplify it.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(18), crime(8), social(7), criminal(7), behavior(6), individual(5), factors(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.