Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet

IELTS Writing Task 2 & Answer

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2009
Question:
Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others, however, believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views, and give your opinion.
Answer 1
Lifestyle is eventually a choice of person; but healthy lifestyle sometimes becomes an issue to debate. According to some, healthy lifestyle is as other lifestyle determined by...
By Danlu Y, 2018-02-12  View full answer
Total words: 370
Band: NA
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has LIFESTYLE(17) HEALTHY(13) AND(12); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest to use a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
Answer 2
An increasing concern for many governments around the world is the declining health of their citizens due to a poor diet. While some people believe governments should be...
By Jade Lee, 2017-10-15  View full answer
Total words: 286
Band: NA
  • Avoid using common words repeatedly will show your grammatical range and accuracy. E.g., THEIR(8) AND(7) THAT(6). Try to improve some of them.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try Paragraph 1 as start point.