Around the world, children learn English as a second language at school

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2013
Question:
Around the world, children learn English as a second language at school. However, in some places, they also learn at kindergarten. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of learning English at kindergarten.
Answer 1
As English has become the dominant language worldwide, many people are learning it. The age of English language acquisition is also decreasing at the same time...

Supporters of teaching English at kindergarten – when a child is between two and five – believe early exposure will produce more competent speakers...

Firstly, linguists claim that a child needs to be literate in their language before another is begun unless that child is already living in a completely bilingual environment – that is, their parents are native speakers of both languages, and both languages are used around the child...

Secondly, kindergarten teachers are less likely to be native English speakers or competent language teachers, meaning that what children learn at kindergarten could be a smattering of words – 'Hello'' 'Goodbyes,' numbers, colors, and the names of animals...

Then there is the issue that kindergartens provide 'English' more as a marketing tool than an educational one, cashing in on concerned parents...

In my view, kindergarten is a time to acquire social and motor skills and a deeper understanding of a child's language...
Band: 7
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Answer 2
Foreign language learning is one of the hot topics in some countries, especially among young parents...

On the one hand, the advantage of teaching language to young children at an early age is that they tend to teach this learning attitude early in their development...

On the other hand, opponents of early language learning believe that young children have some more critical tasks in front of them than learning a new language...

Looking at both sides, it seems that teaching language early has more benefits as the child is made to learn and speak the new language like his mother tongue, and the skills acquired early in life will forever be remembered in a young child...
Band: 6.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words33214844%
Top 300 Words182 (54%)55 (37%)30%
300 - 1000 Words73 (21%)36 (24%)49%
Over 1000 Words77 (23%)57 (38%)74%
Other Comments (ucheoma)
Link Words: 19 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 15; Average Length: 126 characters; Words/Sentence: 22
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has language(11), learning(7), early(7), this(6), and(6), young(5), that(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.