Question: Around the world, children learn English as a second language at school. However, in some places, they also learn at kindergarten. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of learning English at kindergarten.
Answer 1
Foreign language learning is one of hot topics in some countries, especially among young parents. Some educators have insisted that children should learn a new language at an...
You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has LANGUAGE(11) LEARNING(7) THAT(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
Suggest to use a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Conclusion seems too plain, try to polish it.
Answer 2
As English has become the dominant language worldwide, vast numbers of people are learning it. The age of English-language acquisition is also lowering at the same time....
You had better re-write the essay to 4 or 5 paragraphs.
You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has CHILD(10) THAT(10) ENGLISH(9); try to decrease duplicated words.
High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
Suggest to use a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Paragraph 1 seems too plain, try to polish it.