Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is better for their health and benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2018
Question:
Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is better for their health and benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.
Answer 1
The number of vegetarians in a community may depend on various factors, for example, the country's traditions, wealth, religion, or age group...

Some people become vegetarians because they believe that this will benefit their health. Undoubtedly, eating too much red meat is not to be recommended...

In my experience, it is pretty common for people to become vegetarians because they feel that it is selfish to eat meat or because meat production increases global warming...

In some families, if a teenager decides to become a vegetarian, they may do so partly out of a spirit of rebellion because this behavior can be interpreted as a criticism of their parent's way of life...

I think being a vegetarian is a good idea in principle as there are proven health and probably social benefits as well...
Band: 7
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Answer 2
Vegetarians avoid consuming meat and fish because they consider body healthy and the environment green...

Vegetarians tend to consider health factors to stop consuming meat and fish because those kinds of food sources affect the blood tension of those who suffer from chronic diseases such as cancer, obesity, etc...

On the other hand, being a vegetarian is one of the ways to protest the policy of the government or criminal action against environmental issues such as cruel animal slaughtering, fish-bombing, etc...

However, another reason not to eat meat or fish is related to ethical concerns about how several values or rules in a specific community forbid eating both food sources...

To conclude, vegetarians who consider health issues and environmental issues, as well as ethical concern, have their own reasons...
Band: 5.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words24012752%
Top 300 Words113 (47%)44 (34%)38%
300 - 1000 Words50 (20%)30 (23%)60%
Over 1000 Words77 (32%)53 (41%)68%
Other Comments (soniariawan)
Link Words: 23 (including link phrase: 4)
Sentences: Number: 11; Average Length: 136 characters; Words/Sentence: 21
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is less than 250, doesn't match the basic criteria.
-The introduction isn't strong enough, try to enhance it.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(9), meat(4), fish(4), body(4), vegetarians(3), consuming(3), consider(3); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.