As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike, leading to a phenomenon known as globalization

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2023
Question:
As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike, leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to a total loss of cultural identity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Answer 1
Globalization has become integrated through the global network of trade, transportation, communication, and immigration...

First, people can realize how they are different from others in distant lands, which may lead to their interest in learning about other cultures...

Secondly, cultures in different parts of the world familiarise themselves with the ceremonies, food, and clothes of other people, they will likely begin to improve on their own, thus developing more efficient ways of life while retaining their original characteristics...

Finally, although some people might think that the aforementioned 'trade' of cultural features can doom the unique identity of a culture, they need to consider that this will not necessarily result in local people abolishing their culture and fully embracing another...

In conclusion, I think if the positive aspects of globalization are considered and stressed, it is not likely to pose any threats to local communities' cultural identity and will contribute to it in various ways...
Band: 7
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Answer 2
Mass communication and transport result from globalization and push globalization deeper and faster...

First and foremost, tradition and culture are the heart and soul of a country. Children inherit their traditions from their parents...

On the contrary, it can be clearly observed that technology replaced the old culture. For example, advancement has made marriages simple and sober in the past decade...

I think it is the parent's responsibility to give the knowledge about their traditions to the children...
Band: 5.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words24915060%
Top 300 Words132 (53%)57 (38%)43%
300 - 1000 Words36 (14%)31 (20%)86%
Over 1000 Words81 (32%)62 (41%)76%
Other Comments (namratajain)
Link Words: 14 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 19; Average Length: 82 characters; Words/Sentence: 13
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is less than 250, doesn't match the basic criteria.
-The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.