People should look after their health as a duty to the society they live in rather than personal benefits

IELTS Writing Task 2 & Answer

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7027
Question:
People should look after their health as a duty to the society they live in rather than personal benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Answer 1
Some people believe that it is the responsibility of each individual to take care of their health not just for themselves but also for the community. From my perspective, it is best if everyone takes authority about society's well-being to help develop the lives of other citizens.
Firstly, many people believe that ...
By JS, 2021-05-23  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 324
Band: 7
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a position is presented that is directly relevant to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is logical, and there is a clear central topic to each paragraph.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice and spelling.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a wide range of structures, these are used flexibly; however, there are occasional errors.
Answer 2
Maintain good health is essential for the sustainability and survival of human beings in the present world. Due to communicable diseases like Covid -19, creating awareness among the people to be healthier is the responsibility to themselves and society. I fully agree with this statement. This essay illustrates more ...
By Sinoj PX, 2021-05-17  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 327
Band: 6.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-The main ideas are relevant, but some are insufficiently developed.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Each paragraph has a clear central topic, which is developed, and there is an effective use of cohesive devices.
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is quite wide and shows awareness of collocation, but there are some errors to block a higher band.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a wide range of structures, these are used flexibly; however, the original version has many grammar errors..
Answer 3
In the past two years, life has shown us the significance of physical well-being. The pandemic has changed the world's mindset dramatically and has also proved that the only true health is wealth. Hence, individuals must prioritize their health rather than other mandatory aspects and the prime responsibility towards ...
By Kavita Patel, 2021-05-19  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 325
Band: 6
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-The main ideas are relevant, but some are insufficiently developed. You need to put forward more reasons for why you agree with the statement.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generally arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is quite wide and shows awareness of collocation.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but there are errors in grammatical control.
Answer 4
Some nowadays believe that modern planet citizens should maintain their health for their own benefit when the majority claim because people have social responsibilities. Although there are some legitimate reasons to support the first point of view, in my perspective, modern planet dwellers have an obligation in front ...
By Farid, 2021-05-19  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 317
Band: 6
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-The logic and reasoning look good, but some sentences seem wordy and not in the style that academic writing should be in.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident, with some simple cohesive devices, but some sentences are wordy or too long to understand.
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is limited, but just about adequate for the task, try to enhance IELTS vocabulary.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, they rarely reduce communication.
Answer 5
Some people believe that living a healthy lifestyle is a person's responsibility to the community than for their own welfare. For the most part, I can't entirely agree with this claim as I believe there are more personal factors to consider than societal duties.
On the positive side, when a person maintains a ...
By mjlr, 2021-05-19  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 284
Band: 5.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-The logic and reasoning look good, but in the covid 19 days, the essay's position cannot get a high score. It's about "political correctness."
Coherence and Cohesion:
-There is a clear overall progression in the response, but somewhat mechanically, with occasional errors
- Help Link
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, they rarely reduce communication.