Nowadays, in many countries, the proportion of the older population is higher than that of younger people

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7032
Question:
Nowadays, in many countries, the proportion of the older population is higher than that of younger people. Is it a positive or negative development?
Answer 1
Many authorities and policymakers have been working hard to lengthen the average lifespan of people...

Recently, the average life expectancy of people and the elderly population has increased in most countries...

However, one downside of an increasing elderly population is that we have encountered problems concerning their care...

In conclusion, from my perspective, should governments be able to handle the drawbacks above, it will undoubtedly be a positive development for a country with a high elderly population...
Band: 6.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words24713655%
Top 300 Words115 (46%)40 (29%)34%
300 - 1000 Words42 (17%)29 (21%)69%
Over 1000 Words90 (36%)67 (49%)74%
Other Comments (fatty)
Link Words: 18 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 11; Average Length: 146 characters; Words/Sentence: 22
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is less than 250, doesn't match the basic criteria.
-The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:
-The prompt is not fully addressed; there is an attempt to discuss some benefits and disadvantages, but ideas are limited.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is logical, and each paragraph has a clear central topic.
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision, showing an awareness of styles and collocation.
Answer 2
In recent years, with the development of modern medicine and enhanced technologies, people's average life span is amplified daily, causing a rise in the number of older people...

To begin with the positives, the older people who live longer with the discoveries of vaccination can spend the lion's share of their time with the young generation...

On the other hand, there are some drawbacks related to the longer life of senior citizens, the most obvious of which is the lack of resources...

In conclusion, despite the benefits of more extended service of the nation and forwarding wise preaching by the long-living elderly, the drawbacks of scarce resources and the inclined unemployment rate should also be considered...
Band: 6.5
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Answer 3
Recent studies show that age proportion in the population plays a vital role in developing all countries...

The country's growth mainly depends on the availability of the working population because they are the contributing factor determining the economy's future...

To add to that, optimum utilization of resources is the fundamental element for the country's growth...

In conclusion, by considering the points mentioned above, it is evident that fewer young people will negatively impact development...
Band: 6
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