More and more people are seriously overweight. Some people suggest the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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Question:
More and more people are seriously overweight. Some people suggest the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
More and more people are seriously overweight. Some people suggest the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Answer 1
There is no doubt that being overweight is an alarming situation in many countries. While some people believe that the only way to solve this problem is to raise the price of high-fat foods, others may argue that there are diverse ways to eliminate the former issue...
Admittedly, an individual consumes the more a high-calorie diet, the more they put on the insulation around the body, which could result in obesity...
On the other hand, implicitly surging the prices of greasy foods may prove ineffective for youngsters...
In conclusion, while raising the prices of oily and fatty foods can help in reducing obesity, at the same time, campaigning about fitness and installing exercise machines by the government can also be imposed simultaneously to eliminate the problem of obesity...
Admittedly, an individual consumes the more a high-calorie diet, the more they put on the insulation around the body, which could result in obesity...
On the other hand, implicitly surging the prices of greasy foods may prove ineffective for youngsters...
In conclusion, while raising the prices of oily and fatty foods can help in reducing obesity, at the same time, campaigning about fitness and installing exercise machines by the government can also be imposed simultaneously to eliminate the problem of obesity...
Band: 6.5
Word Statistics
| Group | Word Number | Distinct | Percent |
|---|---|---|---|
| All Words | 316 | 173 | 54% |
| Top 300 Words | 145 (45%) | 51 (29%) | 35% |
| 300 - 1000 Words | 60 (18%) | 33 (19%) | 55% |
| Over 1000 Words | 111 (35%) | 89 (51%) | 80% |
Other Comments (manali)
Link Words: 22 (including link phrase: 3)
Sentences: Number: 14; Average Length: 143 characters; Words/Sentence: 22
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(10), that(7), this(6), foods(5), obesity(4), can(4), problem(3); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(10), that(7), this(6), foods(5), obesity(4), can(4), problem(3); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-The logic and reasoning look good, but some sentences seem wordy. Besides, it's about 'increasing the price'; ideas for 'fitness' are off-topic.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Each paragraph has a clear central topic, which is developed, and there is an effective use of cohesive devices.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task.
Answer 2
Obesity is a rising health problem which is faced by the globe in this era. A large portion of people think that being overweight is due to overconsumption of food that contains more fat...
Multiple factors are involved in increasing the rate of people with obesity, and they are unbalanced lifestyle, decreased physical activities, and consumption of junk food...
Apart from that, we need to take the initiative to address the cause of problems like unhealthy diet practices and less exercise...
Finally, rather than increasing the food price that causes obesity, we can restrict their supply, especially in the school zones and places where our children are more often visited because children may become more attracted to these foods, creating more problems in the future...
Multiple factors are involved in increasing the rate of people with obesity, and they are unbalanced lifestyle, decreased physical activities, and consumption of junk food...
Apart from that, we need to take the initiative to address the cause of problems like unhealthy diet practices and less exercise...
Finally, rather than increasing the food price that causes obesity, we can restrict their supply, especially in the school zones and places where our children are more often visited because children may become more attracted to these foods, creating more problems in the future...
Band: 6.5
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