More and more people are seriously overweight. Some people suggest the ...

IELTS Writing Task 2 & Answer: More and more people are seriously overweight. Some people suggest the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7036
Question:
More and more people are seriously overweight. Some people suggest the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Answer 1
There is no doubt that overweight is an alarming situation in many countries. While some people believe that the only way to solve this problem is to raise the price of high-fat foods, others may argue that there are multifarious ways to eliminate the former issue. I partly agree with the statement in question and ...
By Manali, 2021-06-20  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 382
Band: 6.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-The logic and reasoning look good, but some sentences seem wordy. Besides, it's about "increase the price", ideas for "fitness" are off-topic a little.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Each paragraph has a clear central topic, which is developed, and there is an effective use of cohesive devices.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, they rarely reduce communication.
Answer 2
Obesity is the arising health problem which is faced by the globe in this era. A large portion of people thinks that overweight is due to overconsumption of food that contains more fat. So, they argue the best way to address this issue is by increasing the rate of fattening foods. I can't entirely agree with this ...
By Sinoj Xavier, 2021-06-26  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 323
Band: 6.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-The main ideas are extended and supported; the response is ok, but you should simplify the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Some sentences are wordy or too long to understand.Use too many passive voice sentences.
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision, and although there are a few spelling errors.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with a fair degree of accuracy. But the original version has some grammar errors, such as article (a, an, the).
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