Health professionals suggest older people spend more time socializing with others and playing sports to stay healthy, but many retired people have experienced loneliness

IELTS Writing Task 2 & Answer

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7050
Question:
Some health professionals suggest that older people spend more time socializing with others and playing sports to stay healthy, but many retired people have experienced loneliness and a lack of fitness. Why has this happened? What can be done to address this?
Answer Hints:
This question has two parts. The first question is to explain the reasons, and the second question is to give solutions. The difficulty of the topic is that it uses a parallel structure, Socializing with others and playing sports to stay healthy. You have to find common ground between the two things, and it is best not to discuss them separately.

Reasons
  • The older people live separately from their families. It is difficult to pay attention to their social life and health.
  • Older people are not very sociable, not very active, and have emotional and physical problems.
  • Communities do not have suitable activities for older people.
  • Difficult to establish contact with other members of the community.
Solutions
  • The communities organize more activities for older people.
  • The older people actively participate in socializing activities and sports to make new friends.
  • Encourage young people to spend more time with their parents and grandparents.
Answer 1
Although health professionals suggest that older adults need to exercise and socialize, some older people seldom do it. This essay will discuss why this is happening and put forward several solutions for this issue.
Many retired people who have experienced loneliness find it hard to do exercise or play sports ...
By Anne La, 2021-10-08  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 317
Band: 7
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-Ideas are usually expressed fully, but they sometimes need more support.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-It is an attempt to address the prompt, and some main ideas are put forward, but there is no discussion of socializing.
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision, and although there are a few choice errors.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-A variety of complex structures is used with some flexibility and accuracy.