Nowadays, some parents put a lot of pressure on their children. Why do parents do this? Is this a positive or negative development for the children?

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7052
Question:
Nowadays, some parents put a lot of pressure on their children. Why do parents do this? Is this a positive or negative development for the children?
Answer Hints:
Mixed topic. You need to answer two questions: 1, the reason; 2 your opinion for positive or negative.

Reasons
  • Society is fiercely competitive in all areas.
  • Parents want their children to live well in the future.
  • Learning more skills is supposed to get more rewards.
  • People use income as a criterion for judging success.
Impacts - negative
  • The children are under great pressure.
  • Studying hard, less playtime, and unhappy childhood.
  • Many potential skills may be ignored, especially in sports and arts.
Answer 1
In the modern world, parents always hope their children to be successful in the future and put lots of pressure on them...

The apparent reason we can see is that the world is changing dramatically and young people must be ready in every aspect to take advantage and succeed...

This pressure is also positive for children because they will try their best to study. And they could possibly be successful in the future...

In conclusion, although parents have many reasons to pressure their children, it's unnecessary for modern society because its negative things outweigh the positive aspects...
Band: 6.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words27314653%
Top 300 Words161 (58%)68 (46%)42%
300 - 1000 Words40 (14%)29 (19%)72%
Over 1000 Words72 (26%)49 (33%)68%
Other Comments (cahiershuiy)
Link Words: 20 (including link phrase: 0)
Sentences: Number: 17; Average Length: 97 characters; Words/Sentence: 16
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has children(8), and(8), their(7), parents(6), they(6), get(5), pressure(4); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a clear position is presented throughout the response.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Each paragraph has a precise central topic, which is developed, and cohesive devices are effectively used. But a few sentences are wordy.
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is limited, but just about adequate for the task, try to enhance IELTS vocabulary.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammatical control is variable: some complex structures are produced accurately.