Nowadays, some parents put a lot of pressure on their children. Why do parents do this? Is this a positive or negative development for the children?

IELTS Writing Task 2 & Answer

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7052
Question:
Nowadays, some parents put a lot of pressure on their children. Why do parents do this? Is this a positive or negative development for the children?
Answer Hints:
Mixed topic. You need to answer two questions: 1, the reason; 2 your opinion for positive or negative.

Reasons
  • Society is fiercely competitive in all areas.
  • Parents want their children to live well in the future.
  • Learning more skills is supposed to get more rewards.
  • People use income as a criterion for judging success.
Impacts - negative
  • The children are under great pressure.
  • Studying hard, less playtime, and unhappy childhood.
  • Many potential skills may be ignored, especially in sports and arts.
Answer 1
In the modern world, parents always hope their children to be successful in the future and put lots of pressure on them. There are some reasons to explain this trend, and this development has both positive and negative.
The apparent reason we can see is that the world is changing dramatically and young people have ...
By Cahier Shuiy, 2021-10-31  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 284
Band: 7
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a clear position is presented throughout the response.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Each paragraph has a clear central topic, which is developed, and there is an effective use of cohesive devices. But a few sentences are wordy. The example of "my younger brother" can be removed or replaced with a better one.
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is limited, but just about adequate for the task, try to enhance IELTS vocabulary.
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Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammatical control is variable: some complex structures are produced accurately.