Some think visiting museums is the best way for children to learn history, while others believe there are better ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7114
Question:
Some people think visiting museums is the best way for children to learn history, while many others believe there are better ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Answer Hints:
You need to present the points of the two sides and give your opinion. The question doesn't specify particular "better ways." You can flexibly take classroom, video, etc. to compare. But the essay should focus on visiting museums. You also need to give points to support your opinion.

Support
  • Museums usually have better facilities than the school to attract children.
  • Offer visual and multisensory experiences that are unforgettable.
  • See artifacts, documents, and historical objects up close.
  • Much more persuasive than a plain textbook for children.
  • Encourage children to understand and study history.
Object
  • Museums usually are topic-oriented and cannot systematically offer history education.
  • History is an academic subject; only textbooks and classrooms can pass the correct knowledge to children.
  • Museums are only supplements to educate history, not the best way to learn history.
  • Teachers and parents can use museums to appeal to children touching history, such as books, magazines, and movies.
Answer 1
Teachers and parents usually argue about the best way for children to learn history. Some people think visiting museums is best, while others believe there are better ways, like classrooms, books, or video...

Visiting museums can be considered best for several apparent reasons. The first is a visual and multisensory experience...

The other side insists that there are better ways to teach history. They think history is a systemical academic subject, not just a collection of pieces of stories...

I understand the two sides have their stands; I also agree museums benefit history education. But while museums offer valuable educational experiences, it's important to note that they are not the only way for children to learn history and cannot replace the other methods...
Band: 7.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words34116748%
Top 300 Words179 (52%)57 (34%)31%
300 - 1000 Words65 (19%)43 (25%)66%
Over 1000 Words97 (28%)67 (40%)69%
Other Comments (ricklee)
Link Words: 26 (including link phrase: 0)
Sentences: Number: 22; Average Length: 98 characters; Words/Sentence: 15
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(12), history(9), museums(9), children(8), can(6), that(5), way(4); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed. But your opinion part is weak. It's easy to give an example to support your choice.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generally arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-There is a good range of vocabulary, and there are some less common words and phrases
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are no errors in grammatical control.