In many countries, students' concentration in the classroom has decreased. What are the reasons for this? What are some possible solutions?

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7115
Question:
In many countries, students' concentration in the classroom has decreased. What are the reasons for this? What are some possible solutions?
Answer Hints:
The answer should have two parts: causes and solutions. The essay isn't difficult. But your causes and solutions should have connections, and it had better present examples in the solution part.

Causes
  • Class materials are boring; students aren't interested in them.
  • Students are overloaded with academic or non-academic tasks.
  • Web and media offer too much junk information to distract students.
  • Students don't have enough sleep or rest.
  • Mobile and other instant tools are used without limitation.
  • Tutors and schools lack modern education technology.
Solutions
  • Refresh lessons and offer interesting materials in the classroom.
  • Help students set up proper goals in school life.
  • Help students learn how to manage time.
  • Filter or decrease junk information that wastes student's time.
  • Guide students to be in good health.
  • Modernize education, especially in the classroom, to promote focus and attention.
Answer 1
In some countries, research reports show that students' concentration in the classroom has decreased...

The leading cause is due to mental and physical health. Now, students have higher academic demands and more social activities; some may experience sleep deprivation...

Now that we know the common reasons. The solutions are easy to be worked out. At first, we should educate students about the impact of sleep on cognitive functions and concentration and encourage healthy lifestyle choices, including proper nutrition and regular exercise...

Addressing the issues requires a multifaceted approach involving collaboration between educators, parents, and students...
Band: 7
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words36118751%
Top 300 Words158 (43%)49 (26%)31%
300 - 1000 Words57 (15%)32 (17%)56%
Over 1000 Words146 (40%)106 (56%)72%
Other Comments (ricklee)
Link Words: 30 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 24; Average Length: 103 characters; Words/Sentence: 15
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is too long, try to shrink it.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(20), students(12), can(7), concentration(6), classroom(6), that(5), are(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
Task Response:
-The main ideas are relevant, but you may enhance the solution part, e.g., by giving an example.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generally arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression. Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision, showing an awareness of styles and collocation.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with a fair degree of accuracy.