Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be beneficial to society. Others say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions.

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7123
Question:
Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be beneficial to society. Others say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Answer Hints:
You need to present two sides' views for society or the individual. Suggest choosing the latter as your preference so that it is easy to develop points and conclude the essay.

For society
  • A sense of civic responsibility in individuals; developing ethical and moral values.
  • A well-educated populace is more likely to contribute to economic growth.
  • Build social cohesion and peace by fostering a shared set of values.
For the individual
  • Empower individuals to pursue their passions, interests, and personal goals.
  • Education is seen as a pathway to self-discovery and self-realization.
  • Develop practical life skills that are essential for personal success and fulfillment.
  • Successful individuals can do more for the community; individuals and society can win together.
Answer 1
We all know that the object of education is human, but we argue the purpose of education in various views...

The belief that the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be beneficial to society is rooted in various philosophical, sociological, and pragmatic perspectives...

However, opposites argue that education aims to achieve personal ambitions. In this view, education empowers individuals to pursue their passions, interests, and personal goals...

I think the purpose of education may vary among different scenarios. However, education must apply to individuals so that its purpose should be a balance between individual fulfillment and societal needs...
Band: 8
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words36116144%
Top 300 Words152 (42%)39 (24%)25%
300 - 1000 Words50 (13%)33 (20%)66%
Over 1000 Words159 (44%)89 (55%)55%
Other Comments (ricklee)
Link Words: 32 (including link phrase: 2)
Sentences: Number: 19; Average Length: 130 characters; Words/Sentence: 19
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is too long, try to shrink it.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(17), education(14), personal(8), purpose(7), individuals(7), that(6), society(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
Task Response:
-Ideas relating to each sector mentioned in the prompt are presented, but some are not developed much.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The writing is well organized and has a clear progression throughout, although using some cohesive devices could have been more flexible. Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
Lexical Resources:
-Vocabulary is the strongest aspect of the response.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with a fair degree of accuracy.