Letting all young adults undertake some unpaid work helping people in the community isn't a good idea to build the next generation or society. The drawbacks for both sides are evident and proven in some countries. I agree that having a job is a rewarding way for teenagers to spend their free time and a great way to ...
Band: 7
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.Task Response:-This is a well-organized essay, presenting ideas on both sides, developing these ideas effectively throughout the response, but the essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
Coherence and Cohesion:-The organization is evident and cohesive devices are used, though rather mechanically.
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Help LinkLexical Resources:-The lexical resource is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision, and although there are a few choice errors.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:-Grammatical control is variable: some complex structures are produced accurately.