Some people think mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops, and public transport. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7126
Question:
Some people think mobile (cell) phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Answer Hints:
Agree with the statement. You should support banning mobile phones in public areas like civilized people, but also with some exceptions. You need to mention the libraries, shops, and public transport in your writing to cover all topics in the problem.

Support banning
  • Disruption of public order.
  • Library: impacts others to concentrate or study.
  • Shop: disrupts the shopping experience.
  • Close quarter: annoys fellows.
  • Risk the privacy of others.
Exceptions
  • Emergency requirements, like alert
  • Basic communication, like texting
Answer 1
The idea of banning mobile phones in certain public places is often rooted in concerns and perceptions about their impact on social behavior, privacy, and overall general etiquette...

The main concern is the disruption of public order. Mobile phones can be disruptive in quiet environments like libraries...

Because mobile phones have extra features beyond talking, they are causing more and more concerns about privacy and safety...

Of course, as a modern communication tool, the mobile phone is re-building our lives. It's challenging to prohibit it completely, even in a small domain...

It's important to note that opinions vary widely, and not everyone agrees to ban mobile phones in these settings...
Band: 7.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words34418654%
Top 300 Words137 (39%)49 (26%)35%
300 - 1000 Words66 (19%)50 (26%)75%
Over 1000 Words141 (40%)87 (46%)61%
Other Comments (ricklee)
Link Words: 27 (including link phrase: 3)
Sentences: Number: 22; Average Length: 101 characters; Words/Sentence: 15
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(13), mobile(11), phones(8), public(7), for(6), others(5), may(4); try to decrease duplicated words.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:
The main ideas are relevant; banning but getting texting as an exception is a good position.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The writing is well organized and has a clear progression throughout, although using some cohesive devices could have been more flexible.
Lexical Resources:
-There is a good range of vocabulary, and there are some less common words and phrases
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammar and punctuation are well controlled.