Some say that what children watch on television influences their behavior, while others say the amount of time they spend watching TV influences behavior.

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7130
Some people say that what children watch on television influences their behavior, while others say the amount of time children spend watching television influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Answer Hints:
You should discuss the views of the two sides, then give your opinion. It's an open question.

Television content
  • TV content can shape children's values.
  • TV content can affect children's cognitive development.
  • TV content may disturb educatons of school and family.
Time on Watch TV
  • Decrease physical activities and exercise.
  • Casue health issues, like obesity.
  • Lessen studying time and communications with adults.
  • Lessen opportunities to interact with peers.
  • Impact behaviors of children, like less concentration.
Answer 1
The influence of television on children's behavior is a complex issue, often debated by researchers, parents, and educators...

Firstly, television content can shape children's attitudes, beliefs, and values. Programs and commercials often depict social norms, gender roles, and cultural stereotypes, which can influence how children perceive themselves and others...

The other side argues that time is more critical for children. Excessive TV viewing often replaces time that could be spent engaging in physical activities and exercise...

In conclusion, although both sides are persuasive, I think that while the amount of time spent watching TV is important, the content children are exposed to may have a more significant impact on their behavior...
Band: 7
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words38718146%
Top 300 Words171 (44%)44 (24%)25%
300 - 1000 Words48 (12%)31 (17%)64%
Over 1000 Words168 (43%)106 (58%)63%
Other Comments (zheelongchou)
Link Words: 35 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 19; Average Length: 138 characters; Words/Sentence: 20
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is too long, try to shrink it.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(21), can(8), content(7), time(7), may(7), children's(6), behavior(6); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.