In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems due to eating too much unhealthy food

IELTS Writing Task 2 & Answer

 Actions
 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4008
Question:
In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems due to eating too much unhealthy food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Answer 1
In the era of technology and globalization, all sphere of life has changed dramatically, and food is also on exception. Some people advocate that higher authority should be burgeoning the duty on unhealthy food to ameliorate the consumption of food. In contrast, others argue that to vigilant people decrease the value ...
By jarry, 2020-03-22  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 485
Band: 8
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Perfect essay! The end seems a little hurry, but it's not easy to address the topic in an IELTS writing.
Answer 2
We cannot emphasize the importance of a healthy diet too much because the junk food does harm to our health. Some people argue that the tax on junk food should be raised so that people will choose the healthy food instead. From my perspective, I completely disagree with this opinion.
First of all, the drawbacks are ...
By Eva , 2020-03-04  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 344
Band: 6.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
You may enhance "unemployment" point, which is a disadvantage to health.
Answer 3
It is certainly true that people's eating habits have been significantly changed over the past few years. In many countries, people are frequently intaking junk foods, which has negatively impacted their health. Therefore, while many people claim that the government should increase the taxes on restaurant foods, I ...
By vaimik, 2020-11-28  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 307
Band: 6
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-Off-topic a little, the raters may doubt the essay is memorized, please prepare topics (not essays) in advance. The essay should focus on the relationship between higher taxes and fast food.Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident and cohesive devices are used, though rather mechanically.
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with a fair degree of accuracy.
Answer 4
It has been seen that people are giving more preference to junk food rather than healthy food. To control this malaise, some people think that the government should come forward and laid high taxes on unhealthy food so that people start giving priority to healthy eating. I think this way will bring benefits but also ...
By Gurjeet , 2020-02-20  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 317
Band: 5.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Add another supporting paragraph, enhance the conclusion.
Answer 5
The problem of unhealthiness among humans is escalating a very high speed, which is a result of their eating habits. Many believe that the heat taxes should be imposed on junk food. I strongly accord with the opinion that authorities must put high taxes on unhealthy products. It will encourage consumers to consume a ...
By Sakshi aggarwal, 2020-02-17  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 246
Band: 5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
The second paragraph is too long. Rewrite its last sentence. Should add third supporting point. Enhance the conclusion.
Answer 6
Nutrition plays a vital role in human health. From junk food to healthy, there are a wide variety of options available in the market.
Unhealthy foods are mostly scrumptious to taste but less nutritious. Many people believe that by applying tariffs on unhealthy items will encourage people to eat healthy foods and ...
By AH, 2020-03-09  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 259
Band: 5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
State your opinion in the introduction. Your reasoning doesn't match the question. Instead of talking about how fast food is bad, you should prove how higher taxes fix the issue.
Answer 7
Young kids are experiencing more health issues related to junk food than their parents. Some suggest to apply extra tax on convenience food to shrink its market. I partially...
By Fatima Chowdhury, 2018-01-28  View full answer
Total words: 286
Band: NA
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
Answer 8
The growth of the fast food industry has, without doubt, impacted on the eating habits and the health of many societies around the world. Diabetes, high cholesterol, heart and...
By Jade Lee, 2017-09-26  View full answer
Total words: 281
Band: NA
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Suggest to use a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Paragraph 2 seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest to refine coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.