The costs of international travel are decreasing, and tourism is growing

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4030
Question:
The costs of international travel are decreasing, and tourism is growing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of increasing tourism activity in different countries?
Answer 1
Nowadays, tourism is the most lucrative and developed industry globally, which offers modern planet dwellers various opportunities to travel and meet other cultures. Although it seems like a positive development at first glance, which benefits society at large, it is also hidden dangerous for the environment and ...
By Farid, 2021-02-07  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 303
Band: 8
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a clear position is presented throughout the response.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are presented, extended, and supported, arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-There is a good range of vocabulary, and there are some less common words and phrases
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-A variety of complex structures is used with some flexibility and accuracy. Grammar and punctuation are well controlled.
Answer 2
In the modern world, travelers and people who want to rest in other countries can move between different countries more comfy and free. However, some people suppose this trend has its disadvantages also.
On the one hand, globalization in the tourism sphere makes our lives easier when we go to another country. ...
By Rusty, 2021-02-11  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 257
Band: 6
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-The main ideas are extended and supported; the response is ok, but you should enhance the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident and cohesive devices are used, though rather mechanically.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice and spelling.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a good range of complex structures, and many sentences have accurate grammar and punctuation.
Answer 3
Technology has indeed made it more comfortable and more straightforward for people to travel around the globe. In my opinion, it is a positive development for various reasons.
First of all, this development has proved to be a boon for the tourism industry in most countries. These days, more and more people travel to ...
By Zen, 2021-02-11  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 287
Band: 5.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-The response looks at some discussion of the topic but does not reach a clear conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-There is a clear overall progression in the response, but somewhat mechanically, with occasional errors.
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision, and although there are a few spelling errors.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Use a variety of complex structures, but a few sentences lack grammatical control.
Answer 4
In this contemporary era, the mass of wanderlust people is rocketing to the highest point. However, visiting other countries is effortless and suitable because of the advancement of technologies so people can travel faster compared to ancient times. I deem that it is a positive development of host country like it ...
By dhruv , 2021-02-10  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 255
Band: 5.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-You identify some positive and negative aspects of the topic but don't offer conclusion, which weakens the response.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-There is a clear overall progression in the response, but somewhat mechanically, with occasional errors.Lexical Resources:
-The essay didn't use less common vocabulary with accuracy. Some simple words aren't used in the right way, e.g. "traveling" occurs 3 times in one paragraph.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but there are errors in grammatical control.
Answer 5
Today globalisation is changing the world, and traveling has become cheaper than before. As its direct result, tourism industries are growing rapidly in many countries which has...
By Dawn Sagar , 2017-11-11  View full answer
Total words: 262
Band: NA
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest to refine coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
Answer 6
Tourism is often touted as an industry that will never shrink in size. In other words, as the world develops, more and more people will be able to travel. Although many may see...
By Hans Goredy, 2017-10-03  View full answer
Total words: 310
Band: NA
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has TOURISM(12) AND(10) THIS(6); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.