Nowadays, some older people choose to live in retirement communities with other people rather than their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?
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Question:
Nowadays, some older people live in retirement communities with other people rather than with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, some older people live in retirement communities with other people rather than with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?
Answer Hints:
Positive or negative question. You can choose either side to write.
Positive or negative question. You can choose either side to write.
Positive
- Socialized organizations can offer more scientific senior services, like food and health management.
- Easy to build connections among the same ages to play games or share thoughts.
- Avoid generation conflicts that are often in a big family.
Negative
- Retirement communities cannot offer personalized service per individual requirement.
- Lack of family atmosphere and communications with children and grandchildren.
- Not good for seniors to understand new things about society.
Answer 1
As people grow older, they need more professional treatment and careful caring, which their adult kids may not offer...
Sending seniors to retirement communities can reduce families' pressure to provide health care to their elderly parents...
However, sending old to retirement communities also brings new problems. Firstly, it may cause financial pressure on adult children since some retirement communities need expensive pay...
To summarize, I advocate that it can give more advantages if older people live in retirement communities...
Sending seniors to retirement communities can reduce families' pressure to provide health care to their elderly parents...
However, sending old to retirement communities also brings new problems. Firstly, it may cause financial pressure on adult children since some retirement communities need expensive pay...
To summarize, I advocate that it can give more advantages if older people live in retirement communities...
Band: 6.5
Word Statistics
| Group | Word Number | Distinct | Percent |
|---|---|---|---|
| All Words | 276 | 130 | 47% |
| Top 300 Words | 142 (51%) | 55 (42%) | 38% |
| 300 - 1000 Words | 56 (20%) | 30 (23%) | 53% |
| Over 1000 Words | 78 (28%) | 45 (34%) | 57% |
Other Comments (jimcater)
Link Words: 21 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 14; Average Length: 119 characters; Words/Sentence: 19
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has older(9), communities(8), their(7), retirement(7), people(6), and(6), they(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:IELTS Essay Format:
-The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has older(9), communities(8), their(7), retirement(7), people(6), and(6), they(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a position is presented that is directly relevant to the prompt, but the content should balance the views of both older people and their children.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Each paragraph has a clear central topic, which is developed, and there is an effective use of cohesive devices.
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is quite broad and shows awareness of collocation.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with a fair degree of accuracy.