Nowadays many mothers take care of the family and don't go out to work

IELTS Writing Task 2 & Answer

 Actions
 IELTS General Essay Answers - #7029
Question:
Nowadays many mothers take care of the family and don't go out to work. Some people believe they should be given salaries by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Answer 1
With the advent of urbanization, there have been accompanying issues with the salaries of housewives. Whether government should pay them monthly for fulfilling the needs of their family or the earning person needs to work hard to feed them. To my mind, there is now convincing evidence that the government should, to ...
By RAVI PATEL, 2021-05-25  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 268
Band: 6.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a clear position is presented throughout the response.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident and cohesive devices are used, though rather mechanically.
- Help Link
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision, and although there are a few spelling errors.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but there are a few errors in grammatical control.
Answer 2
The family, as we know, is the bedrock of the society, and invariably a formidable home front suggests a great nation in its overall. However, should women, who are key players in a home building, be renumerated for their services? This would be discussed, and I would posit that it would not be necessary.
The roles ...
By Ttoy, 2021-05-28  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 241
Band: 6
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-Ideas relating to each sector mentioned in the prompt are presented, but there is not much development of some.The essay is relatively short.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Each paragraph has a clear central topic, which is developed, and there is an effective use of cohesive devices.
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision, and although there are a few spelling errors.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, they rarely reduce communication.