Nowadays, many mothers take care of the family and don't go out to work

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS General Essay Answers - #7029
Question:
Nowadays, many mothers take care of the family and don't go out to work. Some people believe governments should give them salaries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Answer 1
With the advent of urbanization, there have been accompanying issues with the salaries of housewives...

Firstly, It is intuitively apparent that mothers work hard in the kitchen daily for their families to stay healthy and focused on their daily routines...

Secondly, one parent staying at home can positively impact the children's overall growth. For example, Asian cultural society found that children who grow up with their parents will likely adapt to the same culture in the long run...

In conclusion, the cited evidence supports the view that the government should put mothers on the payroll to create a wealthier country in education and overall economic growth for the future...
Band: 6.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words26114354%
Top 300 Words140 (53%)53 (37%)37%
300 - 1000 Words47 (18%)32 (22%)68%
Over 1000 Words74 (28%)58 (40%)78%
Other Comments (ravipatel)
Link Words: 14 (including link phrase: 0)
Sentences: Number: 12; Average Length: 131 characters; Words/Sentence: 21
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has that(8), their(7), government(5), mothers(5), and(5), with(3), salaries(3); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a clear position is presented throughout the response.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident, and cohesive devices are used, though mechanically.
- Help Link
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision.
Answer 2
As we know, the family is the bedrock of society, and invariably, a formidable home front suggests a great nation overall...

Fathers' roles are also integral to the outcome of the family's success or failure. The efforts of the mothers alone, most times, are certainly not enough to guarantee a successful homefront...

Furthermore, we must not forget that some categories of women play preeminent roles in raising the family and, at the same time, are gainfully employed...

To conclude, I think the government can assist families financially through other means like free education and scholarships to top students...
Band: 6
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