Today people live longer after retiring from work. What problems does this cause for individuals and society? What can be done to deal with them?
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Question:
Today, people live longer after retiring from work. What problems does this cause for individuals and society? What can be done to deal with them?
Today, people live longer after retiring from work. What problems does this cause for individuals and society? What can be done to deal with them?
Answer Hints:
Mixed topic. The first question is about the problems caused by retired older people; the second question is about solutions for the former. The essay should discuss both individuals and society.
Mixed topic. The first question is about the problems caused by retired older people; the second question is about solutions for the former. The essay should discuss both individuals and society.
Problems
- Older people's financial problems after retirement.
- More medical and healthy resources.
- Governments need to pay more money to take care of seniors.
Solutions
- Delay retirement, or continue to make money after retirement
- Adjust tax or policy to offer affordable home
- Add social aid for seniors with financial, health, or action troubles.
Answer 1
Because of the advancement in the medical and health sectors, more and more ills and sicks are becoming curable; as a result, in general, the death rate of older people has decreased...
Firstly, living may not prove to be consistently enjoyable for the majority of older people. Since the retirement pension plan doesn't foresee more extended retirement living, some may feel a shortage of money...
The different problems need different solutions. For example, older people may delay retirement or take a part-time job after formal retirement to mitigate financial issues...
In conclusion, the drawbacks of living longer after people have stopped working can be tackled by forward-thinking governmental policies and everyone's efforts, including older people...
Firstly, living may not prove to be consistently enjoyable for the majority of older people. Since the retirement pension plan doesn't foresee more extended retirement living, some may feel a shortage of money...
The different problems need different solutions. For example, older people may delay retirement or take a part-time job after formal retirement to mitigate financial issues...
In conclusion, the drawbacks of living longer after people have stopped working can be tackled by forward-thinking governmental policies and everyone's efforts, including older people...
Band: 7.5
Word Statistics
| Group | Word Number | Distinct | Percent |
|---|---|---|---|
| All Words | 323 | 182 | 56% |
| Top 300 Words | 140 (43%) | 54 (29%) | 38% |
| 300 - 1000 Words | 56 (17%) | 35 (19%) | 62% |
| Over 1000 Words | 127 (39%) | 93 (51%) | 73% |
Other Comments (abanidan)
Link Words: 28 (including link phrase: 2)
Sentences: Number: 18; Average Length: 116 characters; Words/Sentence: 17
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
Task Response:IELTS Essay Format:
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a clear position is presented throughout the response; both problem and solution involve individuals and society/government.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is logical, and each paragraph has a precise central topic.
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is quite broad and shows awareness of collocation.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with a fair degree of accuracy.