Today people live longer after retiring from work. What problems does this cause for individuals and society? What can be done to deal with them?
Mixed topic. The first question is about the problems caused by retired older people; the second question is about solutions for the former. The essay should discuss both individuals and society.
- Older people's financial problems after retirement.
- More medical and healthy resources.
- Governments need to pay more money to take care of seniors.
- Delay retirement, or continue to make money after retirement
- Adjust tax or policy to offer affordable home
- Add social aid for seniors with financial, health, or action troubles.
Because of the advancement in the medical and healthy sectors, more and more ills and sicks are becoming curable, as a result, in general, the death rate of elderly people has decreased. People are living longer after their retirement. This trend impacts individuals and society in many aspects more or less. It needs ...
Total words: 346
Band: 7.5The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a clear position is presented throughout the response, both problem and solution involve individuals and society/government.Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is logical, and there is a clear central topic to each paragraph.Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is quite wide and shows awareness of collocation.Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with a fair degree of accuracy.