Many young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating high school

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #6856
Question:
Many young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating high school. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to teach them this important skill?
Answer 1
Indeed, the young people graduating from school do not know how to manage finances. There are various possible reasons for this, but steps can be taken to tackle the problem...

There are two critical factors to blame for why children are not taught the importance of money at a young age...

Students can be taught how to manage their expenses. I believe that the change must begin with parents, who need to understand the importance of teaching the value of money to their children...

In conclusion, school-aged children will not learn the importance of managing money unless parents and schools start teaching economic studies to children...
Band: 7
View full answer
View comments
......
Answer 2
Money is an essential matter for everybody to use during his daily adventures. Nowadays, students who start earning cash dismiss it frivolously...

During high school, teenagers can fulfill their needs with the guidance of their parents. They take whatever they want without any disagreement from their fathers...

On the other hand, to sustain children to use money adequately, schools have to implement a practical course linked to the financial part of real life...

In conclusion, progress in every human being's life needs, at any stage, the money to reach it. For this purpose, our children have to appreciate this tool to improve their own lives...
Band: 6.5
View full answer
View comments
......
Answer 3
Many youths, especially high school graduates, are unwell organized for their outlay. This issue is due to many reasons I will list below, and its solution will depend on many significant skills...

The first reason that young people, especially high school graduates, are unable to manage their money is that they have been unorganized since childhood...

Hence, young people who use their own job money are well-managed financially. So, those who are self-responsible and spend money from their effort will never use their money unless it is for their necessities...

To conclude, having a well-organized life and specified necessities will avoid financial problems, especially for young people, which can be provided by the people themselves and the parents guiding their children...
Band: 6
View full answer
View comments
Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words26714052%
Top 300 Words145 (54%)56 (40%)38%
300 - 1000 Words53 (19%)33 (23%)62%
Over 1000 Words69 (25%)51 (36%)73%
Other Comments (mahaghandour)
Link Words: 22 (including link phrase: 3)
Sentences: Number: 13; Average Length: 128 characters; Words/Sentence: 20
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has their(14), and(12), are(6), for(6), money(6), organized(4), will(4); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:
-The main ideas are extended and supported; the response is ok.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-There is a clear overall progression in the response, but it is somewhat mechanical, with occasional errors.
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is limited but just about adequate for the task; try to enhance IELTS vocabulary.
- Help Link