Many young people do not know how to manage their money when they graduate from high school. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to teach them?

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #6856
Many young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating high school. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to teach them this important skill?
Answer Hints:
Your essay needs to answer two problems: why the issue is caused and how to address it.

The reasons
  • Parents do not teach children the difficulty of earning money.
  • Schools do not give to students teaching life skills.
  • Social media celebrities' behavior influences children.
  • Let children understand the importance of money in their lives.
  • Teach children to spend wisely.
  • Encourage children to earn the things that they want.
  • Schools should offer more courses related to saving and investment.
  • Public figures should take responsibility for being a positive model.
Answer 1
Indeed, the young people graduating from school do not know how to manage finances. There are various possible reasons for this, but steps can be taken to tackle the problem...

There are two critical factors to blame for why children are not taught the importance of money at a young age...

Students can be taught how to manage their expenses. I believe that the change must begin with parents, who need to understand the importance of teaching the value of money to their children...

In conclusion, school-aged children will not learn the importance of managing money unless parents and schools start teaching economic studies to children...
Band: 7
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Answer 2
Money is an essential matter for everybody to use during his daily adventures. Nowadays, students who start earning cash dismiss it frivolously...

During high school, teenagers can fulfill their needs with the guidance of their parents. They take whatever they want without any disagreement from their fathers...

On the other hand, to sustain children to use money adequately, schools have to implement a practical course linked to the financial part of real life...

In conclusion, progress in every human being's life needs, at any stage, the money to reach it. For this purpose, our children have to appreciate this tool to improve their own lives...
Band: 6.5
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Answer 3
Many youths, especially high school graduates, are unwell organized for their outlay. This issue is due to many reasons I will list below, and its solution will depend on many significant skills...

The first reason that young people, especially high school graduates, are unable to manage their money is that they have been unorganized since childhood...

Hence, young people who use their own job money are well-managed financially. So, those who are self-responsible and spend money from their effort will never use their money unless it is for their necessities...

To conclude, having a well-organized life and specified necessities will avoid financial problems, especially for young people, which can be provided by the people themselves and the parents guiding their children...
Band: 6
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words26714052%
Top 300 Words145 (54%)56 (40%)38%
300 - 1000 Words53 (19%)33 (23%)62%
Over 1000 Words69 (25%)51 (36%)73%
Other Comments (mahaghandour)
Link Words: 22 (including link phrase: 3)
Sentences: Number: 13; Average Length: 128 characters; Words/Sentence: 20
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has their(14), and(12), are(6), for(6), money(6), organized(4), will(4); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:
-The main ideas are extended and supported; the response is ok.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-There is a clear overall progression in the response, but it is somewhat mechanical, with occasional errors.
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is limited but just about adequate for the task; try to enhance IELTS vocabulary.
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