In some countries, when people get old, they often go to live in a home with other older people with nurses to look after them

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4007
Question:
In some countries, when people get old, they often go to live in a home with other older people with nurses to look after them. Sometimes, the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?
Answer 1
Older adults are a part of society, and old homes are prevalent in modern countries. Seniors prefer to live there because of better facilities...

Family plays a substantial role in providing comfort to their elders, and the effort of senior citizens should be acknowledged as they have spent all their time on the upbringing and taking care of children's health, education, and other necessities of life...

On the other hand, senior citizens have served their entire lives in both the public and private sectors for the betterment of the country...

To sum up, I would like to say that the government should take the necessary measures to bring comfort and ease to senior people's lives...
Band: 6
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Answer 2
It was said that money is not God but not more than God. Some people say that the government should support retired people medically and financially, although others think they have to care for themselves...

Firstly, the government should release funds for older people so they get more benefits. For example, if older adults live alone, no one can help them; however, if the government provides rest homes, medical facilities, and pensions, things will be different...

On the other hand, the culture of saving money will help older people. For example, in India, more than half of the people believe that saving money will help in the future rather than depending on the government...

In conclusion, the government and children are both responsible for caring for older people. The government should help their finances and provide as many facilities as possible...
Band: 5.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words21310750%
Top 300 Words113 (53%)51 (47%)45%
300 - 1000 Words53 (24%)25 (23%)47%
Over 1000 Words47 (22%)31 (28%)65%
Other Comments (anita)
Link Words: 15 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 12; Average Length: 107 characters; Words/Sentence: 17
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is less than 250, doesn't match the basic criteria.
-The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has people(8), government(8), for(6), help(6), should(5), and(5), older(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Try to add another supporting paragraph. Rewrite the conclusion.